Haircuts and Foster Care System

This I believe will be my first official rant about the foster care system so I apologize, I am just completely in shock at the way things are handled. 

As the twins one year birthday is coming up, my husband and I have scheduled a photographer to take one year pictures of the twins about 2 weeks prior to their actual birthday. Since baby boy's hair is getting pretty long - I'm talking in his face, over his ears, every which direction long we thought it might be good to get him his first haircut prior to the pictures. You might be wondering why this is even warranting a post - it's just a haircut after all, right? Well....in the foster care system, haircuts are one of the things foster parents must seek approval on. This isn't just CPS approval, this is CPS actually getting birth parent approval. It may seem outrageous but there are a lot of cultures and heritages that have different beliefs about hair cutting. Fine, I get it. So being a good foster mom, I sent an e-mail to our case worker asking to get their haircut and explaining why I wanted to. Here was his response:

Yes, she did already tell me that it was a tradition to cut her boys hair on their one year birthday however I didn't realize 2 weeks would be a big deal. I also don't understand how this tradition is going to be kept this time around - is CPS going to give her special approval on her supervised visits to cut his hair? And what about baby girl, is she never going to get a haircut? That seems a little crazy to me. I'd also like to bring up the fact that on their last two visits she has fed them french fries, cake, and juice boxes. They are 11 months old, they don't need french fries and cake on a regular basis much less sugar loaded juice boxes. But no, I'm the crazy foster mom who wants to cut their hair so they look well taken care of. Watch out world - don't let this crazy woman watch your children - she might give them a haircut after a whole year!

Some day's as a foster mom are easier than others, today didn't start off very well.

Life is moving....literally!

It's getting harder and harder not being able to post pictures of my cuties. The older they get the more fun I have with them and I want so badly to share their adorableness with everyone!!

The big event these past months is we now have moving babies! The beautiful multi-color baby gate is now in place! This was an expensive purchase but well worth it. All the panels come apart so you can make the section larger or smaller and you can make whatever shape you want!

Baby boy is fully crawling but for the longest time he would get into the crawling position, figure out how to move his legs but not his arms and ended up face planting. He tried so hard and everyone around him tried to help him and show him even Grandpa has got down on the ground and exaggerated crawling motions! Baby girl is army crawling and she's really good at it! She has no problem getting what she wants but most of the time she'll just roll around.

Baby girl also started clapping this month and we think she might be starting to sign milk to us!! We also think both babies are starting to wave bye and are starting to give high fives.

Since we live in Phoenix and temperatures are already in the triple digits, we took them into the pool for the first time and have also started swimming lessons. Baby girl took to it right away - she was falling/reaching into the water after toys (with Jon there to catch her of course) and splashing around. Baby boy was definitely not too fond of it at first but after about 5 minutes he loosened up and started having some fun reaching for toys and splashing. Our swim instructor is awesome and does an amazing job with getting the twins used to things!

Mother's day was amazing. Jon woke up with both babies and took them to the store while I got to sleep in. Then he planned a picnic, the whole family including Maggie walked to the park and had a nice picnic and some playtime. We also did a 5k with my mom and sister (who is also pregnant!!).

For Father's day the twins made Jon beer bottle labels for his homemade beer. If you don't know us well, my husband enjoy's home brewing and calls his home brewery "Family Man Brewing". I had each twin use their hand or footprint as the background for some labels for his newest batches. They turned out really cute - just wish I had better calligraphy skills. Sorry for the black sections - I had the kid's names on each one.















As for the case - we just had court and we will have the twins at least until the next court date which is early September. Not much has progressed or changed since the last date - the state is still working on family reunification.

Over 4th of July we are taking the twins camping for the first time - anyone have any advice on how to survive and have fun?!

MILESTONES:

• First time in the pool
• First Mother's day
• First Father's day
• Started swimming lessons
• First time playing in a box
• First hike
• Crawling (Baby boy)
• Army Crawling (Baby girl)
• Clapping (Baby girl)
• Fart noises with mouth (Baby boy) - hilarious!

Hard to believe...

It's already been half a year since the twins entered our lives and I already can't believe the impact they've had on us. I am definitely a different person today than I was 6 months ago, for example:

Baby girl recently started mimicking Jon and I. She's trying to vibrate her lips - it's the cutest thing! The other day I was driving in the car with her and I might have cut across traffic in order to get into the left hand turn lane. Apparently the woman behind me didn't like this and laid on her horn and I'm not just talking a quick "Hey, I was here but guess you didn't see me" but a "HEY LADY I'M HERE AND I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU, IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT WE ARE BOTH STOPPING - THIS IS MY LANE!" sort of honk. After we turn left, she passes me and then glares at me in her side mirror to which I start saying "You are stupid and ugly anyway, calm down and get a life" amongst a couple of other things I'm not proud of. I park and get out and pull baby girl out of the car and realize - this little girl has started mimicking me, maybe I should start behaving correctly ALL the time instead of most of the time. My road rage days are over, I don't want this little girl suddenly telling people they are ugly and stupid!

It's been awhile since I updated so let me start with a quick run through of the last month and a half so you can see why it's taken me so long.

1. Baby boy got an infection & we ended up at urgent care 
2. Attend court hearing (nothing new to update)
3. Baby girl has eye specialist appointment
4. I get sick 
5. Baby girl goes to the doctor for breathing issues
6. My birthday celebrations (I finally got a jogging stroller!!)
7. Baby boy gets sick, sees doctor, we end up in the emergency room
1. At the same time, Jon is with baby girl at her dermatologist follow up
8. Jon and I attend the foster care review board
9. Day trip to Yuma with the kids to help my parents move (Yay for Grandma being closer!)
10. Home visit with case worker
11. Jon and I attend a wedding
12. Baby boy gets an eye infection
13. 6 month check ups
14. WIC appointment

For almost a month and a half we always had someone sick in our house, someone was always staying home from daycare or work - it was rough. FINALLY, we are all better - let's cross our fingers it's for longer than a day as baby boy's eye just cleared up this morning :)

Despite all the sickness in our house, we have had an overall really fun month with the twins. Every month they get a little more active, a little more giggly, and a lot bigger! I love seeing them smile when they recognize me, laugh when I do something silly but I don't like trying to put a onesie on that fit the day before and now it's too small. 

MILESTONES:

• Started eating rice cereal from a spoon
• Baby girl started mimicking us
• First true scare for mom and dad
• Baby boy is very, very ticklish for me
• First game of peek-a-boo
• First Superbowl party
• First & Second trips to the Desert Botanical Gardens
• First valentine's day
• First run in the jogging stroller
• First trip to the park
• Baby girl is officially mobile - she will roll wherever she wants!
• Started baby sign language
• Both can hold their bottle completely independently

In a week we fly to Kansas for my cousin's wedding. I'm super nervous to fly with 2 babies so wish us lot's and lot's of luck!

1/4 of a year old

We still have the twins and the birth parents finally stopped contesting CPS dependency (I didn't make it to this hearing). Now our case will finally move out of the investigative stage and move into an on-going phase. This also means we get a new case worker. Our case has been transitioning to a new worker for over 3 weeks now...I'm still waiting to hear from someone.

Before our case worker switched the file she gave me an update and then asked me if we were interested in adopting the twins to which I replied "Yes, of course!". I was flying high the rest of our conversation until she so nonchalantly said at the end "Oh, and there are some out of state relatives interested in adopting them too." That crashed my hopes pretty quickly so now I'm back to taking one day at a time.

This month has been more difficult for me with the supervised visits. Right now there are 2 visits a week and both parents can attend together. It seems like I either get a note or a verbal complaint/concern after every visit. On top of that the twins come home fussy and starving after the majority of their visits even though I'm always told they "just ate before we left". The most recent note complained about FIVE different things. One of the items birth mom knew that I had already addressed because I sent a note telling her I had already gone to the doctor for it. Another concern of hers is that the babies smell and she wants to know how often I bathe them. As far as I've been told I shouldn't bathe them everyday because it'll dry out their skin and according to the doctor it's not necessary to bathe them everyday because they aren't crawling or walking anyway. Birth mom again told me to take both babies to the doctor for her concerns (I should start a tally). Since the two major things in her note I had already addressed with the doctor the day before, I'm not going back until the next scheduled appointment.

Dealing with birth mom's notes is one thing but its even more frustrating because the case aide seems to support birth mom's accusations. On top of that, she's very uneducated about babies which seems odd since her entire job is to transport children and supervise visits. She asked the daycare why the babies always sleep on their backs and she asked me why baby boy was losing some of his hair.

As much as I get frustrated, everything just melts away when I hold one of them in my arms. This morning baby boy woke at 4am and after he finished his bottle he just cuddled with me - there is nothing like cuddling with a tiny baby in his cute little footy, fleece pajamas. Those are the moments that make me keep fighting.

MILESTONES:

• First Thanksgiving
• First road trip (to Yuma for Thanksgiving!)
• Baby Boy has started hitting his giraffe toy that hangs in his carseat
• Both babies can sit in the Bumbo chair unassisted
• Baby Girl can roll onto her side
• Both babies can lift their heads when on tummy time
• Baby Girl is on the verge of laughing
• First weekend alone with Mommy (Jon was in Chicago for a death in the family)
• First weekend alone with Daddy (I was running a half marathon in Las Vegas)

First Time (Foster) Parents

I don't even know where to begin on this whirlwind of emotions in the last month. Going into the foster care process I knew it'd be emotional but I thought it'd be emotional only when the kids went home but I was wrong, very wrong. It's emotional the entire way through this very confusing and unorganized system so I guess I'll just start chronologically and see where the pen, or rather, keys take us.

Saturday, September 7th: The phone rings, its a number I didn't recognize, so I assume its a call from CPS about a possible placement, but we have received 3 calls before that didn't match our preference, so I wasn't getting my hopes up. The caller explained they were looking for a home for 2 day old twins, one boy and one girl. Jon didn't hear the phone call but was getting excited as he watched my face light up. We weren't originally planning on two newborns, but we figured that meant twice as much fun so we gladly accepted. I don't remember feeling nervous or scared or anything but excited when I was sitting in the NICU waiting for CPS. The NICU nurse found out we were first time foster parents AND first time parents so she gave us a baby 101 course. She went over temperatures, feedings, diaper changes, and umbilical cord care and then walked us downstairs, loaded the babies into the car with some minor complications and sent us on our way. Jon drove like an old man the whole way home - he was even driving UNDER the speed limit. I was highly entertained. By far the best part of the evening was telling the family and seeing or hearing everyone's reactions to not just one baby but TWO!

Week 1: I took the entire week off of work except forwarding e-mails as appropriate. Monday we had the twins first doctor's appointment. Both babies had jaundice but otherwise they are healthy babies. We were told to give them some sun time by the window each day to help with the jaundice. Wednesday morning I got a call from CPS telling me that the children would be going home today to Birth Dad. I was devastated and called Jon at work, he immediately came home. We didn't realize just how attached you could get in 4 days! Within an hour of the first call, we got a 2nd call from CPS saying nevermind, a mistake was made and they'd be staying with us if we wanted otherwise they'd find another foster home. Silly question - of course we'll keep them! Wednesday afternoon I went to WIC and signed up for formula assistance - I was very glad I did after that first trip to the store when I realized 1 week of formula is about $80 for the twins! During the days I spent time feeding the babies and sunbathing with the them in front of the window. The nurse also told us it was never too early to read, start tummy time, or sing to them so everyday I proceeded to have sing-a-long time with them and tummy time. Tummy time was also good for Maggie as she could sniff them. Baby boy seems to enjoy my singing a little more than his sister. Neither one does too much on tummy time yet. Thursday we had a follow up doctor's appointment and baby boy was cleared of his jaundice and his weight was above birth weight. Baby girl still had jaundice and wasn't gaining weight. We were having some issues getting her to eat a whole lot. We tried a new formula and a new type of nipple at the end of the week and she seems to be eating more.

Week 2: After a couple of days on the new formula, we noticed baby girl started having some constipation so we ended up at the doctor's on Monday morning. He suggested switching to another formula or trying Karo syrup. Baby girl's jaundice is finally down and she is above birth weight so both babies are cleared until their 1 month appointment! My mom stayed home this week so I could return to work. She added Karo syrup to baby girl's bottle a couple of times but it didn't help very much so we switched formulas again. Jon thinks they should sell a sample pack of all the different formulas so we don't have to buy a whole can just to realize they don't like a formula and need to try another one. The new formula seemed to fix things and baby boy had started to show problems so we switched him too. They are both eating well and seem to enjoy tummy time. My mom took them on daily walks with the dog and my sister! 

We are beginning to notice how much more they move their arms and legs on tummy time and we are excited that the nasty umbilical cords fell off and we can take real baths now! And by real baths - I mean the bathroom sink versus a sponge bath.

Week 3: The kids Guardian Ad Litem (their lawyer) called to see how things were going. This is how we found out that birth parents had court on Tuesday, the outcome being birth parents were given 2 supervised visits a week each (as they aren't together anymore) for a total of 4 visits a week. We were less than thrilled. The worst part is we learned this on Tuesday and immediately had their first visit on Wednesday, second and third on Thursday, and fourth on Friday. It's a lot of work to get the kids ready to go because we have to provide the formula, the bottles, the diapers, the wipes, etc. Our agency also told us to not send anything we cared about in case we didn't get it back, luckily that's not been an issue! We were also informed that the court has allowed the parents to attend medical visits. Super bummed! We didn't have any interest in meeting the birth parents and never realized it was possible that we wouldn't have a choice. We both met birth dad this week, he was nice to both of us and thanked us for taking good care of his kids. This was frustrating for me because I wanted to dislike him but on the surface he nice enough.

Week 4: The twins are becoming more active now and are up for a couple of hours at a time, day and night. Baby girl really enjoys tummy time while baby boy just enjoys looking around and playing with brightly colored rattles. I love holding them when they are awake because they seem to just look very deeply into your eyes - it's an unexplainable feeling, Jon says its like they are looking into our souls. This week we had our 1 month appointment and it was the first time Jon and I met birth mom. To me she seemed like a know-it-all but overall she was alright. The doctor told us what a great job we were doing with caring for the twins and that he doesn't have any concerns as they are growing as he would expect/hope.

The past month has been extremely busy but I can't imagine my life any other way. Sure, the nights are rough when a baby is crying and I realize I was just up an hour ago with the other one but when they open their eyes and interact with you, it makes all those long nights disappear. However, I don't think it makes all the diapers disappear, both Jon and I could do without those especially since we've both been peed on multiple times and Jon's even been pooped on!

I'm hoping to keep the blog updated more frequently now that we are on a "schedule". Feel free to ask questions and we'll answer as best we can but the majority of their situation is confidential. The twins are foster children and although we would love to adopt, right now the case plan is reunification with the birth parents.

We finally filled the shoes!

OFFICIALLY Certified Foster Parents

We PASSED! The state has looked into our home life, our dog, our finances, our upbringing, our marriage, our criminal history and found nothing too concerning. So it's official! We are finally licensed foster/adoption parents!!! The news came last Thursday, August 29th. 

On Friday morning I called our licensing agent and discussed preferences and placement lists. We decided to accept children ages 0-3 as long as one is under the age of 1. After numerous other questions, we also decided to be placed on the immediate placement list so literally a call could come at any time. That's exactly what our agency said to us and she wasn't lying.

Friday around 3pm, I received our first placement call. I knew it was a placement call before I answered the phone, I'm not sure why but I just knew. I'm glad I did because CPS does not do anything to help you determine if this is the child for your family or not. This is how the phone call went: 

     CPS: "Hi my name is ____ from Child Protective Services. I have a 1 year old boy that I was wondering if you could take."
     Tina: ............. (attempting to remember our classes and what they told us to ask)........"Ummm do you know why they are being removed from the home?"
     CPS: "Yes, ___________ on his younger, 5 month old brother; his 4 year old brother has already been placed"
     Tina: (Quickly doing the math on a 1 year old and a 5 month old....doesn't really add up) "Is he exactly 1 year old or is he younger or older? What ethnicity is he? Where is the 5 month old?" (I caught on quickly, CPS knows a lot but they try to tell you nothing)
     CPS: "He's a little over a year, he was born on March 8th"
     Tina: (Confused because I'm pretty sure that means he's almost 18 months which is very different than a 1 year old) "We are going to have to decline, he isn't within our preferences."
     CPS: "Okay, thank you for your time."

We had heard CPS was typically pushy and didn't like when you declined but this guy wasn't upset at all, he was very polite which is what I would hope. The excitement of Friday didn't end there. At 9pm that evening Jon received our 2nd placement call. It went very similar to the first except this CPS agent didn't have hardly any information. We also realized at this point that our preferences must not be in the system because we again turned the children down due to not meeting our preferences. Jon asked the CPS agent if our preferences were in there and she said no so she updated them. Since that call, we haven't heard anything. The excitement of the calls and being licensed have really made the next 2 days difficult because now we feel mentally ready but nothing has happened. Every time Jon's phone rings, we both get that little bolt of adrenaline/excitement. 

We will definitely update once we accept our first placement but until then I wanted to remind everyone of some rules we have to follow regarding confidentiality.

1. You won't see pictures on this blog, or on Facebook or Instagram, with any identifying details (i.e. no faces). Once we have adopted the children pictures are fair game!
2. This also means that you cannot take pictures of our children either. I know it'll be hard, but remember these are someone else's kid's until we adopt and we can't have pictures floating around due to confidentiality. Again, once the adoption is finalized, start snapping away!
3. Close family and friends will know the children and their names because they will be attending events with us, however please refrain from using their names in the online world due to confidentiality. 
4. Please do not ask us why the children came into our care. If it is necessary for you to know, you will know but otherwise just treat them like any other niece, nephew, grandchild, or kid.
5. We will be unable to post specifics about the case or court details. Major decisions can be posted in a general overview but all the details are kept confidential to protect the children. Details of their cases are their own to share, as they see fit (and when they can talk).

We look forward to sharing the next steps of our journey with everyone! Please keep us in your thoughts while we await our life changing phone call!

Medically Complex 1 of 3

Yesterday we attended our first of three Medically Complex classes. We covered how quickly we should have an EPST ( Early and Periodic Screening, Diagnostic and treatment) Exam after accepting a placement along with proper medication administration and the different medical resources available to us as foster parents.

Some of it covered the same topics as Medication Administration but a review can't hurt when it comes to medical assistance. Our teachers for this course are much better than the original PS MAPPS course. They are much better at keeping us involved. Such as training us on properly removing gloves. We had to wear gloves, have chocolate syrup poured on them, smear it around, then properly remove them without getting any chocolate syrup on ourselves or the desks! Another way they kept us involved was with proper medication administration. Each group received 3 "prescription" bottles and had to identify the thing that was wrong with the prescription. Sometimes there was a peanut allergy listed on the label and then there were peanut M&Ms as "pills" in the bottle or the expiration date had passed, etc.

We also got out of this class earlier than any of our other classes so all and in all it wasn't too bad. Keep posted for next week's update!

42 days or less until we are licensed!

Dr. Seuss Room

I'm amazed that in 2 short months we went from a guest room and office to full blown children's room and office/guest room. After we picked the theme (Dr. Seuss in case you missed the last few posts), it came down to selecting colors. We already knew we wanted to do a grass/sky scene so we had something to stick the decals on. Check out the decals here: Dr. Seuss decals! Then we went paint shopping!

And started painting the sky....

Well first comes the typical name painting on the walls - no room is complete without a Lyons stamp! "Baby" is a custom made blue to match the colors in the Dr. Seuss decals. "Lyons" is a traditional light blue. It took awhile to choose as the Dr. Seuss blue was very vibrant and fun but in the end we decided on a more sky blue color. 

The room sat with just the sky blue and green, grassy hills for weeks while Jon pulled off the pale yellow base boards and nailed on new, fancy white base boards. For those that don't know, our house was flipped and the paint job was awful! They painted EVERYTHING this disgusting pale yellow color. By everything, I mean base boards, window trim, air vents, closets....literally everything! As we update rooms, we are slowly fixing their laziness.

After the adoption shower, it was finally time to start putting the room together. Jon put together the crib and toddler bed with Maggie's help of course. 

I worked on putting the books on the bookshelf, taking apart the diaper cakes, putting diapers away, putting sheets on mattresses, organizing toys, etc. Look how tiny little kid clothes are!

Yesterday we got to put the finishing touches on the room. Dr. Seuss decals went up, truffula trees went up and picture frames went up. We can now say we are officially ready for our children!!

Interesting fact: The dresser in this picture is the dresser my parents used to change me!

The curtains in this picture were made by my mom. They have little truffula trees on them.
The pink, yellow, & blue truffula trees in the corner are from our adoption shower!

What do you think of our future children's room?

Foster/Adoption Shower

This past Saturday our families threw us a foster/adoption shower. Think baby shower but the woman isn't pregnant, otherwise pretty much the same idea. I was amazed to see that we had over 50 people show up (spouses & kids were invited)! 

The food was what else but NACHOS! Jon's family brought all the makings for nachos including beef AND chicken! There were chips, cheese, beans, jalapenos, tomatoes, lettuce, sour cream, salsa, and guacamole. Jon and I have a strange addiction to nachos, it all began when we were dating...there's a good story behind that one. Ask us about it sometime!

The theme was Dr. Seuss of course. My mom and sister did a superb job transforming the room into a Dr. Seuss wonderland. They had truffula trees hanging from the ceiling, Dr. Seuss activity pages for placemats, Dr. Seuss books for center pieces, green (deviled) eggs & ham, Cat in the Hat cake, Thing 1 & Thing 2 cake, Lorax punch and much much more!

Green (deviled) eggs & ham

One Fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue fish,
Will you have a goldfish?

The Truffula trees

Table settings & Karl, Kari & Stephanie

The Lorax punch

CAKES: Thing 1, Thing 2 & 2 baby things, Cat in the Hat,
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish NEW fish! 

Lorax nutter butters

Welcome New Lyon Fish banner

After some socializing and eating we played our first game. Dr. Seuss quotes with missing words. Of course Jenna Cochran, first grade teacher, won! She got all of them but 1! The second game was guessing how many goldfish and worms were in a jar. Kris Lyons won the goldfish and Ron Lobitz won the worms. I'm not much of a baby shower game person so my mom kept it short and sweet at 2 games.

Then we opened presents so the kids could go out to the pool and swim. We received so many wonderful things. Bath toys, books, car seats, stroller, mattress, diapers, stuffed animals, crib, baby photo albums, baby learning videos, toys, gift cards, etc! We are so thankful for our wonderful friends and family that are helping us on our adventure!

The gift table

Diaper tricycle made by my mom

Barn my dad fixed up

I hope our child loves to read because we received piles of books! We didn't originally plan to buy a bookshelf but now we'll need one. I love reading so I'm excited to open each of these books when I have little ones to read to!

 After we opened gifts, we socialized a bit more and then headed down to the pool for some fun! It was an amazing evening and we are so very thankful for all the hard work our families put into it and for all our friends and family that came to celebrate with us!

The only thing I regret is not taking more pictures! I'm missing pictures of people, if anyone has any please e-mail them to me!

Medication Administration

Last night was our last class for this PS MAPP section. (We still have Medically Fragile in August but that won't hold up our licensure as that is a licensing agency requirement verses a state requirement.)

The topic last night was Medication Administration and was the only class that had a test. We were given the test at the beginning of class and told that it would mirror the powerpoint. Sadly, I still saw people leaning over and copying from their neighbor. If you can't answer some simple true/false and fill in the blank questions that are almost verbatim off a PowerPoint then I don't think you should be parenting. Luckily for them, I don't make the requirements otherwise I would have failed some people.

Most of what we covered is pretty basic stuff. Wash your hands before administering, explain what you are doing, check the labels, make sure there are no funny pills mixed in with the regular, you know, the norm. Then we started walking through the documentation required. If you know me, you know I am OCD about being organized but even I am overwhelmed by the amount of paperwork we'll be completing. If you're curious on how many forms I get to keep track of here's the  DES foster parent forms website. Although the only form that appears to be missing is the medication one.

For med's alone, I have to document every single time I or someone else give the child any meds including over the counter (cough medicines, ointments, aspirin, tums, etc). According to our instructor this apparently includes sunscreen. Last time I checked, sunscreen wasn't considered a medicine but what do I know? Don't mind me if you see me with a child and my head in a tablet, I'm probably documenting that we just put some aloe on the child because we forgot to use sunscreen because I didn't have time to document it so now we have a burnt child. That's another thing, most of these forms have to be signed so we are not sure if they can be done electronically. We are going to look into it and then I'll just carry a tablet around instead of a binder full of silly paperwork. Someone needs to tell DES to get with the 21st Century!






Needless to say, Jon and I passed our exams and received our certificates for both PS MAPP's and Med Admin. Look how pretty they are! We worked so hard for these! 

For all our loyal blog readers, you get a sneak peek at a little project Jon and I have been keeping secret. We've been looking for a way to make the foster/adoption announcement public (right now it's mostly close friends and family) and we thought, why not do a foster/adoption photo shoot? So we did and we just got the pictures back. Here's a sneak peek of our soon to be official announcement:

We are excited to share all the photos very soon...

I'm not sure how often our updates will come now that our main classes are completed but I will still try to do things every couple of weeks so no one gets bored :)

Parenting Preparations

Our families are throwing us a foster care / adoption shower on June 29th and my sister has been bugging us to get registered so she can send out the invitations. The invitations are extremely adorable, what do you think? 

We think she did an AWESOME job - Thanks Lisa! 

I don't know how first time parents figure out what they need and what they don't need. There are SO many things at baby stores and 50 different types of every item. Do you want a big bottle or a little bottle, a slow flow bottle or a fast flow, a jogging stroller or a regular stroller and then do you want a single or a double? Baby stores are very overwhelming for first time parents if you ask me. We did manage to have a little fun and not just get stressed out. Jon had a lot of input on the diaper bag as he didn't want to be carrying a pink purse, what do you think of our selections?

My biggest concern is the stroller. I refuse to own 3 strollers. Everyone suggests a regular stroller and an umbrella stroller since they are so compact however I'm concerned I'll also need a jogging stroller. We are trying to find a stroller that can be used everyday and I can take jogging. I spent a good 30-45 minutes at each store testing strollers, running down aisles with them and testing their turning radius. Don't think that I was the only one having fun though, Jon was making sure they could do some wheelies! Does anyone have some good advice on strollers?

 

 

This week we also had our CPR/First Aid Certification course. Neither Jon nor myself have ever taken a class like this and we heard from other people in our regular class that it is quite boring so we were less than thrilled. Luckily we had an excellent teacher named Nick from Heart Savers who was extremely interesting! After about a 30 minute run through of CPR we got to practice on Bob (Adult mannequin) and Stewie (Baby mannequin). Here's me saving Bob's life :)

After our break we completed the First Aid certification. We also found this class very interesting and practical. We learned what to do for internal bleeding, asthma attacks, allergic reactions, seizures, strokes, scrapes and cuts, eye injuries, nose bleeds (interestingly enough you actually don't put your head back and pinch your nose like we were all taught), tooth injuries, burns, poisoning, and bites and stings. We now have a handy book with phone numbers and quick reference for all the different situations. I'm very happy we had to take this course.

Any advice for first time parents from all our experienced friends and family?

Steven Part 2

Envelope #2: Second day after placement

During the comprehensive developmental exam, the doctor has concerns about Steven's developmental delays and recommends that he be evaluated for services through the Arizona Early Intervention Program. The pediatrician also wants Steven to have an extensive eye examination by a Pediatric Ophthalmologist and would like the exam completed this week.

At 5:00pm today, you have the introductory meeting with Sara Smith (Steven's mom). During the meeting you each share information and learn about each other. It is apparent that Sara is angry at CPS and desperately wants to have her child returned to her care. Sara is courteous with you because you are caring for her son although she seems scared of your motives and fears she will never get her son back. She did provide you with an abundance of information so you can care for her child as she would. The first parental visit is set for tomorrow at 5:00pm.

1. How do you feel after meeting Sara?
• Surprisingly positive because she is working with us, sharing information, and doing what's best for Steven.
2. What are the benefits of this type of meeting when a child is first placed in your home?
3. How do you prepare Steven for his parental visit?
4. Who is responsible for transporting Steven to the visit?
• CPS and the foster parents but primarily the foster parents.

Envelope #3: Third day after placement

The CPS Case Manager reports all went well with Steven's visit with mom. He was so excited to see her that he clung to her leg when informed that mom needed to leave. Mom bought him a new teddy bear to sleep with and a new blanket to carry around that he brought to your home when he returned from the visit.

While the case manager is there she asks to see your home. You give her a tour. In Steven's bedroom she checks on his bedding and opens the closet and dresser drawers. Then in the kitchen she opens the cupboards and checks the refrigerator.

Once the case manager left your home, Steven begins to act our. He is screaming, crying and running around having a tantrum. He continues to be inconsolable after using every technique you know.

Steven, in anger and frustration, grabs something very special to you. The piece has great sentimental value and is irreplaceable. It falls to the floor and breaks.

After Steven has cried himself to exhaustion, you tuck him into bed for the evening. You finally can take a breath.

1. What is your immediate reaction to the loss of this item?
• Anger. I would need to take a deep breath before I react.
2. How do you handle Steven's behavior?
• Timeout for 2 minutes in order to help him calm down. Talk to him about what happened at his visit and why he is feeling the way he is. Explain to him that is behavior is unacceptable.
3. How do you feel about this outburst?
4. If it continues how will you deal with such incidents in the future?
5. What do you think of the actions of the CPS Case Manager while in your home?
• Intrusive and frustrating but at the same time we understand that it's in the best interest of the children.

Envelope #4: Ninety days after placement

This evening while you are fixing dinner one of your children and a friend are playing their favorite video game in the next groom. Steven enters the room where the children are playing and says, "mine...froggy game...now". Your child pauses the game and tells Steven that as soon as they are done with this game, he will put on the froggy game and play with him. Steven does not want to wait and goes over to the game system and pulls it onto the floor, it is attached to the tv and the tv falls to the floor. The TV has hit Steven in the head and he is now bleeding. Steven is crying and still yelling that he wants to play the game.

After you remove Steven from the area and attend to his wounds you believe that he needs stitches.

1. Where do you go to seek medical attention?
• If only stitches are required, we can only go to an urgent care.
2. Who do you notify and how do you document it?
• CPS must be notified within 2 hours. We will have to file a significant incident report.
3. What are you going to do about Steven's actions?
• No TV & video games. Explain the reason these items are being taken away and begin working on his patience and sharing.
4. What assistance might you have with the property damage?
• We can file a claim with the Provider Indemnity Program. 
5. How do you feel right now about your decision to bring Steven into your home?

Envelope #5: Six months after placement

This morning you take Steven to Target to get some more clothes. Once inside, Steven yells his mom's name and runs to his mother. He is not going to leave her side.

Later in the day, Steven is quietly playing with building blocks on the living room floor. You step away to use the restroom. When you re-enter the living room, Steven is no where in sight and the front door is open. You rush outside and yell his name; frantically you search everywhere for him. You are unable to find him.

Thankfully, Steven was found by the police. He had run after a dog that was in the front yard. The police found him six blocks away from your home.

1. How do you handle the situation in Target?
• Say hi, talk for a few minutes. Explain to Steven that we only have a few minutes but he'll see his mom again on the specific date of the next visit.
2. How do you feel about the situation in Target?
• Awkward and uncomfortable
3. What reports do you need to file after the runaway incident?

Congratulations, you have just completed a simulation of your life with a foster child in your home!

1. How do you feel?
2. What type of impact has this experience had on you and your family?
3. Did anything have to change with Steven entering your family?
• Yes, work schedules, patience level had to increase, our roles within the house changed

Meet Steven

You receive a phone call from your licensing agency at 3:00 am stating the following: 

• Steven is 2 and a half years old and was removed during a police raid of the home, Methamphetamine's were found to be cooking in the trunk of the family's only vehicle. Mom, Sara Smith, had called the police to inform them of the operation. Mom stated she was in fear for her life and that of her child because the boyfriend beats them both. The police were able to confirm signs of domestic violence. The boyfriend was arrested for the manufacturing of meth and possession with intent to sell. Mom was released and placed in a shelter. Steven was placed in the care of CPS until his safety in the care of his mother could be assessed. CPS is concerned that Steven's mom stayed in the home after she knew about the meth operation. There were additional concerns as to whether or not she would bail out her boyfriend.
• The police warrant was served at 11:00 pm and Steven was sleeping in the home when the police arrived. Steven underwent all the necessary precautions to safety remove him since he was believed to have been exposed to toxic, active chemical agents. He was then taken to Hope Hospital for an intital medical examination and toxicology testing. His clothing was taken due to a chemical smell and he was given a shower to remove any trace chemicals. Steven was released with instructions that he was to have a comprehensive medical examination from a pediatrician within the next two days.
• Steven is an only child.
• Mom reports she is unsure of whom the child's father is, she has no family living in the state and has no friends, neighbors, or co-workers who can care for Steven.
• Three months ago, Mom relocated to the area with her boyfriend of one year. They had been living 250 miles away in another part of Arizona.
• Mom reports that Steven has no known medical issues. He is a loving and obedient child who is very attached to her. No other information was able to be gathered since the Mom was ushered away to the hospital for an evaluation and then taken to a shelter.
• The child has only the clothes on his back due to the possibility of chemical contamination from the meth production. The clothes were provided by CPS.

Even though there is very little information known about this child, you and your family decide you are willing to make a commitment to this child and to provide a stable and nurturing home while he is out-of-home foster care. Steven arrives at your home at 5:00 am.

1. What do you need for Steven?
2. You need to schedule Steven's medical exam. What proof of insurance do you have?
3. Who will take Steven to the medical examination?
4. Who can sign the forms?
• We can for the initial exam and routine care.
5. How do you get the examination paid for?
• We sign them "Tina Lyons for DES/CMDP" in order to not be liable for payment.
6. What do you want to learn from Steven's mom at the ice breaker meeting?
7. How are you feeling about this day?
• Nervous, excited, scared, sympathetic & sad for Steven, overwhelmed

Get a good night's sleep and get ready for tomorrow's envelope!

Home Preparations & PS MAPP Class 4

     This past Saturday we began home preparations. The current guest room is going to be the new kid's room and the office is going to be converted into an office/guest bedroom. Jon and I spent a couple hours going through the closets and getting rid of stuff including Jon's wine barrel desk which he loved but truly hardly used; his brother Kris was more than happy to accept the wine barrel's as a birthday present. The old office is now a guest bedroom and my office when no one is staying with us. The children's bedroom is awaiting a new paint job; Jon and I have decided on Dr. Seuss Blue!  Jon came up with an awesome idea for the big piece of wood from his old desk: he is going to make a children's table shaped like the hat from cat in the hat! I'm sure this means more tools are going into next month's budget!

       We've also started preparing for our home inspection by adding a lock to the coat closet door. This is going to hold our bleach, spray paints, and roach spray and perhaps our alcohol if that's required. We still need to figure out what to do with our prescription and over the counter drugs as they have to be kept locked at all times. Suggestions are welcome. We don't have a medicine cabinet in our bathroom so that idea is out. Take a look at our Home Safety Inspection Checklist page to keep tabs on how our home preparations are coming!

      This past Tuesday we had our fourth PS MAPP class. Overall this one was much more interesting. The discussion of the night was attachment and different ways to help the children attach to you. I think the main thing I took away from this class is all kids need certain things in order to attach and form a relationship. It's just going to be a little hard at first since the children have been removed from everything they know. They are going to be scared, sad, and confused when they come to our house but through consistency and support, attachment can happen.

We are looking forward to some more home preparations this weekend, stay tuned!