Change in physical custody - denied

We would like to say thank you to everyone who thought about us today, prayed about us today, asked their family and friends that don't even know our family to pray and think about us today. There have been numerous tears over the amount of support and love we have received in the last 24 hours, it is absolutely amazing. In fact, we were so touched by the support we received that we wanted to share it with everyone - the purple states represent love, thoughts, and prayers that were received today. If I missed a state, please let me know!

Today didn't go as expected but then again, nothing in this case has. I expected 1 of 3 outcomes to occur today:

1. The judge would decide family is best and the kids would go to the maternal uncle today.
2. The judge would agree with the psychologist conclusions and leave the children in our care.
3. The judge would decide family is best but take the psychologist recommendations to transition the children slowly over the next 3-4 months.

More or less, #2 occurred. Long story short, the state rescinded their motion to move the kids but birth mom's lawyer still asked the kid's be moved asap. The judge denied that motion stating there was no reason to relocate the kids when the severance trail was right around the corner. He also stated he would have another trial regarding placement of the children pending the outcome of the severance trial. Partial win for the children.

What I definitely didn't expect was for the department to request  a continuance for birth mom's severance trial. Basically they thought there was more evidence they needed in addition to adding reasons to their basis for severance. They added something called 15 months in care which means the kids have been in care for so long there's no reason to continue working on reunification. The kid's lawyer objected to the continuance stating the kids need permanency. Unfortunately, the judge granted the state's motion and the severance trial was pushed to August 7th. The judge has 60 days to make a decision on the severance trial so now we are looking at early October. 

I'm not sure I've completely digested court today. Jon and I were ridiculed and degraded in court today. We were told that someone needs to remind us that we are just a "temporary" placement for these children and we have just "fallen in love with these cute children". I know that foster care is considered temporary but my definition of temporary is 1 year or less. I've been a mom for 22 months today. That's not temporary if you ask me so someone else screwed up, not me. Have I fallen in love with these cute children? The answer is obviously yes. I've fallen in love with them because I got up 4-6 times a night to feed them and then proceeded to go to work the next morning and somehow managed to work so hard I got promoted. I've fallen in love with them because I watched them learn to hold their bottles, roll over, learn to crawl, pull themselves up and start a wobbly walk. I've fallen in love with them because I've seen them progress from signing "milk", "more", and "please" to putting together 4 word sentences. They have taught me to remember the simple things in life - laughing, running, playing, and enjoying each other is simply enough to make you fall in love. I know I haven't completely digested everything as we left court, changed clothes and picked up our little ones as the minute we walked into that daycare I was distracted by my children's smiles and adorable runs to give me and Jon the biggest hugs. Someday's I wonder what I did to deserve to be dragged through this court process but the minute I see those children I wonder what I did right to be able to be loved so unconditionally by them. 

The battle is not over but we have definitely moved forward. We ask you continue to hold our family in your thoughts and prayers. 

The rollercoaster continues

Last Wednesday I received an unexpected, very upsetting phone call from our newest case manager. She informed me that the interstate compact had been approved and the children's uncle was willing to come get the children this weekend. She stated CPS would be filing a change in physical custody so he could move the children prior to his 3 week work trip. I was devastated. I called the children's lawyer and told her what was going on and my concerns about this move.

• Baby girl got tubes put in her ears less than a week ago. Her follow up appointment is scheduled in another week to see if she can pass hearing exams. I requested the GAL (kid's lawyer) make sure the uncle gets her to an ENT doctor for a follow up in case they do move the kids this quickly.
• Baby girl had thrown up numerous times that day and we had not yet determined if it was related to the ear surgery or not.
• Uprooting the kids from everything they know in order to have the Uncle out of town for 3 weeks after they move to another state. In foster parent training you learn about the "honeymoon stage" when kids are disrupted. Basically the kids are angels in the beginning because they don't know what else to do. Once they realize the situation isn't changing, they start reacting to it. Right when they start reacting to it, the Uncle will be gone - who will help them through this transition?
• The uncle has shown little to no interest in the kids. He has visited with the children once for 2 hours in the last year and a half.

She was also disturbed by the the news and hadn't heard anything prior to my phone call. That night she e-mailed the Assistant Attorney General (The state's lawyer) stating that she would be objecting if they filed the change in physical custody. On Thursday it was filed. Scared the children would be leaving that weekend we called an impromptu party with our families to celebrate our children. Jon's parents were amazing and quickly threw together a dinner for both our families. 

By Thursday night I had heard the kids would not be leaving this weekend due to the objection from the GAL. This was good however they were having an urgent hearing sometime next week to decide if the kids should move. 

Jon and I reached out to family and friends asking for prayers as we were unsure what would happen in court. 

The response we received was absolutely breath taking. Everyone's prayers were heard, court went as well as we could have hoped. To begin with, the judge stated that it was completely inappropriate to try to move the kids so quickly and abruptly. The GAL requested a best interest assessment which the judge agreed to and is now court ordered. The main question the court has for a psychologist, simply put is which option is in the kids best interest-

A: To leave them in the current situation which is not family; but also the only situation they have known.
B:To disrupt the kids from their current and consistent situation; due to the belief that family (blood) is best.

The judge stated that she believes both families are most likely very loving and safe, and that it isn't a matter of which family is better, but which situation will allow the kids to thrive the most.

Basically the kids will stay in our care at least until the best interest assessment is done. So we can finally take a much needed deep breath and a short sigh of relief. Please continue to keep our kids in your thoughts and prayers. Again, thank you everyone for all of your support, it is uplifting to know how strong our family is and how many people love our little ones.

In super exciting news, baby girl has become extremely interested in the potty in the last 3 weeks. She regularly wants to sit on the potty, never did anything just sat and giggled on the potty. This past Sunday she came up to Jon and said "I potty". Jon rushed her to the bathroom and sat her on the toilet. I ran in behind him and she actually went pee! We were at Aunt Becca's house and all the aunt's and uncles came running in to give her high fives! Then two days later she tells me she has to potty so I rush her to her potty and she goes poop! Again she got lot's of praise and high fives. We are so proud and lucky to have a little girl who seems to be potty training herself! We are going to keep encouraging her and we'll see where this goes!

Both kids are talking so much, everyday I feel like they say a new word to surprise me or they follow an instruction they hadn't previously understood. There is something about watching a child learn and put things together that is just pure. Every morning I look forward to the giggles and every evening I look forward to discovering what they learned about the world today that I learned many years ago but seem to have forgotten just how amazing it is.

Thank you for all your love and support throughout the past 19 months. Please continue to keep our family in your prayers as the state hopefully comes to the conclusion that we already have, this is our family; blood or not; we are happy.