On August 13th, at 8:15 am I got a call from my husband. Not out of the normal so I didn't think anything of it. He asked me if I'd read my e-mail and I hadn't so I quickly opened it. I saw an e-mail from our lawyer that was the judge's ruling. I quickly flipped to the last page where the final ruling is made and read the following as tears flooded my eyes.
If I wasn't at work I would have squealed but instead I just kept saying how excited I was and we could finally move on and what a great judge we had through my tears of happiness. I was so excited and wanted to shout and scream to the world all the happiness that was in my heart. We are really going to get to stay a family! After I hung up with Jon, I just started mass texting family and friends. Honestly I have no idea how many text messages I sent and how many phone calls I received, my phone was buzzing all morning. I ran around the office telling coworkers. I was useless at work while I responded to text messages and answered phone calls - which just left me in tears of happiness over and over again and I received texts full of emotions of excitement from our family and friends.
I was so excited that I have to share this story of just how high on happiness I was. One of my employees went to the urgent care about an hour after I found out the news. Five minutes after talking to my employee, another coworker asks me if everything is all right. I respond very brightly "Yes, everything is fantastic!". She asks me about my employee stating she overheard that she wasn't feeling good. Oops - in 5 minutes I had already forgotten about my employee and was back in my own head celebrating our family. My coworker hadn't heard the news yet so once I explained to her, she understood.
The judge took 6 days to rule. He was allowed 60 and he took 6. We'd heard over and over what a great judge he is but that proves it for me. He knew how important it was to make this decision and allow the kids to gain permanency and move on with their lives. After months of delays - he finally made the difficult decision. By difficult, I mean it's difficult in the eyes of the court system. He was presented with two equally fit families that want to adopt these beautiful children. This situation doesn't present itself often in the DES system. Sad I know but all too true, in fact they more often see kid's that have no permanency option and my kids had 2! To the judge, that's amazing and awful. Amazing because these kids will be loved either way but awful because who would want to make that decision?
His ruling severed birth mom's rights in the first sentence of the minutes. The next 3 pages discuss placement of the children and it was very well written.
He continues...
Every other blog I read about foster care talks about the loss that occurs when permanency is decided. Every other blog talks about how the foster mom feels for the birth mom because of her loss once severance occurs. I didn't have any of those emotions when I heard the news. Maybe I'm heartless. Maybe I'm an awful person. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I had already given all my compassion to her and this was my family's moment. I think I'll go with the latter. In my mind, this allows me to move forward with my family, now the unknown won't threaten us and give us frustration and anger. Now when my kid's ask about their birth mom, I can talk in a positive light because I know my kids are safe.
The day after the news I spent my time writing lists of all the things Jon and I had said at one time or another "that's something we'll need to decide on once we adopt". Well now's the time!
- First Names
- Middle Names
- College savings accounts
- Make a will
- Adoption party planning! (Clear your calendar when we have a date - this is going to be a big party!)
- Adoption photo shoot
- Life Insurance changes
- Jon's full family photos
- Tina's full family photos
What else am I missing? I know there's more but most of it I can't start on until everything is finalized.
You might be thinking, what are the next steps? Well we happened to ask our lawyer that exact question.
You might be thinking, what are the next steps? Well we happened to ask our lawyer that exact question.
- Wait 15 days for the appeal time. If an appeal is file, this will delay things at least a month.
- After the appeal time is over or the appeal is lost, the kids will be free for adoption
- File adoption paperwork
- Adoption hearing in 2-3 months
The most important sentence of the lawyers e-mail "It should be done before 2016!"
That would make our year!
