1/4 of a year old

We still have the twins and the birth parents finally stopped contesting CPS dependency (I didn't make it to this hearing). Now our case will finally move out of the investigative stage and move into an on-going phase. This also means we get a new case worker. Our case has been transitioning to a new worker for over 3 weeks now...I'm still waiting to hear from someone.

Before our case worker switched the file she gave me an update and then asked me if we were interested in adopting the twins to which I replied "Yes, of course!". I was flying high the rest of our conversation until she so nonchalantly said at the end "Oh, and there are some out of state relatives interested in adopting them too." That crashed my hopes pretty quickly so now I'm back to taking one day at a time.

This month has been more difficult for me with the supervised visits. Right now there are 2 visits a week and both parents can attend together. It seems like I either get a note or a verbal complaint/concern after every visit. On top of that the twins come home fussy and starving after the majority of their visits even though I'm always told they "just ate before we left". The most recent note complained about FIVE different things. One of the items birth mom knew that I had already addressed because I sent a note telling her I had already gone to the doctor for it. Another concern of hers is that the babies smell and she wants to know how often I bathe them. As far as I've been told I shouldn't bathe them everyday because it'll dry out their skin and according to the doctor it's not necessary to bathe them everyday because they aren't crawling or walking anyway. Birth mom again told me to take both babies to the doctor for her concerns (I should start a tally). Since the two major things in her note I had already addressed with the doctor the day before, I'm not going back until the next scheduled appointment.

Dealing with birth mom's notes is one thing but its even more frustrating because the case aide seems to support birth mom's accusations. On top of that, she's very uneducated about babies which seems odd since her entire job is to transport children and supervise visits. She asked the daycare why the babies always sleep on their backs and she asked me why baby boy was losing some of his hair.

As much as I get frustrated, everything just melts away when I hold one of them in my arms. This morning baby boy woke at 4am and after he finished his bottle he just cuddled with me - there is nothing like cuddling with a tiny baby in his cute little footy, fleece pajamas. Those are the moments that make me keep fighting.

MILESTONES:

• First Thanksgiving
• First road trip (to Yuma for Thanksgiving!)
• Baby Boy has started hitting his giraffe toy that hangs in his carseat
• Both babies can sit in the Bumbo chair unassisted
• Baby Girl can roll onto her side
• Both babies can lift their heads when on tummy time
• Baby Girl is on the verge of laughing
• First weekend alone with Mommy (Jon was in Chicago for a death in the family)
• First weekend alone with Daddy (I was running a half marathon in Las Vegas)

We made it to the 2nd Month!

Things in the Lyons household have been just as busy and crazy as ever in the last month!

The big news of the last month is that I attended the parents court hearing where they were contesting if CPS had probable cause to take their kids or not. We don't have to attend court but it is open to the foster parents. We learned in PS MAPPS (Yes - some things have proven to be beneficial!) that the best way to get information on your case is to go to court. If it was determined that CPS didn't have probable cause the kids would go home the very same day which also happened to be the day before they could start daycare. I am glad I went because I learned tons of information on this case! Needless to say, we still have the twins. It was determined that CPS did have probable cause but perhaps CPS didn't try hard enough to place the twins with relatives. So for the past month we've just been waiting as it's possible they could be placed with grandparents, siblings, etc. at anytime.

The second biggest news of the past month is the excitement of starting daycare! We no longer have to depend on family to help us every single day. (A HUGE thank you to all those that helped us survive the first 5 weeks AND more or less still let us make it to work) Within about 9 days of starting daycare baby boy caught a cold. Of course he caught it while Jon and I were on our first getaway and we had family watching them (Thanks Lisa, Ryan, & Kris).

We have also been to the doctor twice in the last month. The first time was for baby girl as she had been throwing her food up for a day and had a bad diaper rash. We also took her because we got a note from birth mom telling us how bad the diaper rash was and that we should be using diaper rash cream (we had been) and that birth mom was very concerned about baby girl. The doctor determined it was just a GI bug and as long as she was staying hydrated, he wasn't too concerned. The second visit was due to another note from birth mom along with a call from the CPS case aide telling us that baby boy was fighting to breath and I needed to take him to the doctor right away. I won't get into how angry I was at this phone call but basically my thought was if he's fighting to breath then maybe you should take him to the ER because by the time I get an appointment, he'll be dead. Needless to say, I'm a rule follower and I took baby boy to the doctor that same day. Birth mom never showed even though she had the same amount of notice I did. The doctor confirmed baby boy had a head cold and there wasn't much we could do for him as long as he was still eating.

MILESTONES:

• The very exciting milestone of this month is we are getting smiles from both babies and not just gas smiles, real smiles in response to our smiles! 
• They are both able to hold their heads on their own now (most of the time)
• Baby girl likes when Jon plays with her bottom lip
• We've also hit some milestones with Miss Maggie as she has started giving the babies lot's of kisses. Baby girl has decided she likes Miss Maggie's kisses and proceeds to open her mouth for some french kisses! Baby boy does not like Miss Maggie's kisses and turns his head away which only makes Maggie try harder!
• First 5k
• First time at the zoo
• First sleepover at Grandma Shantz's house
• First Halloween

For their first Halloween we dressed them up as Thing 1 and Thing 2 as would only be appropriate given our baby room theme and the fact that we have twins. Sorry I can't share all the adorable pictures but here's what their outfits looked like!

Month 2 is behind us....let's see what month 3 has in store for us!

First Time (Foster) Parents

I don't even know where to begin on this whirlwind of emotions in the last month. Going into the foster care process I knew it'd be emotional but I thought it'd be emotional only when the kids went home but I was wrong, very wrong. It's emotional the entire way through this very confusing and unorganized system so I guess I'll just start chronologically and see where the pen, or rather, keys take us.

Saturday, September 7th: The phone rings, its a number I didn't recognize, so I assume its a call from CPS about a possible placement, but we have received 3 calls before that didn't match our preference, so I wasn't getting my hopes up. The caller explained they were looking for a home for 2 day old twins, one boy and one girl. Jon didn't hear the phone call but was getting excited as he watched my face light up. We weren't originally planning on two newborns, but we figured that meant twice as much fun so we gladly accepted. I don't remember feeling nervous or scared or anything but excited when I was sitting in the NICU waiting for CPS. The NICU nurse found out we were first time foster parents AND first time parents so she gave us a baby 101 course. She went over temperatures, feedings, diaper changes, and umbilical cord care and then walked us downstairs, loaded the babies into the car with some minor complications and sent us on our way. Jon drove like an old man the whole way home - he was even driving UNDER the speed limit. I was highly entertained. By far the best part of the evening was telling the family and seeing or hearing everyone's reactions to not just one baby but TWO!

Week 1: I took the entire week off of work except forwarding e-mails as appropriate. Monday we had the twins first doctor's appointment. Both babies had jaundice but otherwise they are healthy babies. We were told to give them some sun time by the window each day to help with the jaundice. Wednesday morning I got a call from CPS telling me that the children would be going home today to Birth Dad. I was devastated and called Jon at work, he immediately came home. We didn't realize just how attached you could get in 4 days! Within an hour of the first call, we got a 2nd call from CPS saying nevermind, a mistake was made and they'd be staying with us if we wanted otherwise they'd find another foster home. Silly question - of course we'll keep them! Wednesday afternoon I went to WIC and signed up for formula assistance - I was very glad I did after that first trip to the store when I realized 1 week of formula is about $80 for the twins! During the days I spent time feeding the babies and sunbathing with the them in front of the window. The nurse also told us it was never too early to read, start tummy time, or sing to them so everyday I proceeded to have sing-a-long time with them and tummy time. Tummy time was also good for Maggie as she could sniff them. Baby boy seems to enjoy my singing a little more than his sister. Neither one does too much on tummy time yet. Thursday we had a follow up doctor's appointment and baby boy was cleared of his jaundice and his weight was above birth weight. Baby girl still had jaundice and wasn't gaining weight. We were having some issues getting her to eat a whole lot. We tried a new formula and a new type of nipple at the end of the week and she seems to be eating more.

Week 2: After a couple of days on the new formula, we noticed baby girl started having some constipation so we ended up at the doctor's on Monday morning. He suggested switching to another formula or trying Karo syrup. Baby girl's jaundice is finally down and she is above birth weight so both babies are cleared until their 1 month appointment! My mom stayed home this week so I could return to work. She added Karo syrup to baby girl's bottle a couple of times but it didn't help very much so we switched formulas again. Jon thinks they should sell a sample pack of all the different formulas so we don't have to buy a whole can just to realize they don't like a formula and need to try another one. The new formula seemed to fix things and baby boy had started to show problems so we switched him too. They are both eating well and seem to enjoy tummy time. My mom took them on daily walks with the dog and my sister! 

We are beginning to notice how much more they move their arms and legs on tummy time and we are excited that the nasty umbilical cords fell off and we can take real baths now! And by real baths - I mean the bathroom sink versus a sponge bath.

Week 3: The kids Guardian Ad Litem (their lawyer) called to see how things were going. This is how we found out that birth parents had court on Tuesday, the outcome being birth parents were given 2 supervised visits a week each (as they aren't together anymore) for a total of 4 visits a week. We were less than thrilled. The worst part is we learned this on Tuesday and immediately had their first visit on Wednesday, second and third on Thursday, and fourth on Friday. It's a lot of work to get the kids ready to go because we have to provide the formula, the bottles, the diapers, the wipes, etc. Our agency also told us to not send anything we cared about in case we didn't get it back, luckily that's not been an issue! We were also informed that the court has allowed the parents to attend medical visits. Super bummed! We didn't have any interest in meeting the birth parents and never realized it was possible that we wouldn't have a choice. We both met birth dad this week, he was nice to both of us and thanked us for taking good care of his kids. This was frustrating for me because I wanted to dislike him but on the surface he nice enough.

Week 4: The twins are becoming more active now and are up for a couple of hours at a time, day and night. Baby girl really enjoys tummy time while baby boy just enjoys looking around and playing with brightly colored rattles. I love holding them when they are awake because they seem to just look very deeply into your eyes - it's an unexplainable feeling, Jon says its like they are looking into our souls. This week we had our 1 month appointment and it was the first time Jon and I met birth mom. To me she seemed like a know-it-all but overall she was alright. The doctor told us what a great job we were doing with caring for the twins and that he doesn't have any concerns as they are growing as he would expect/hope.

The past month has been extremely busy but I can't imagine my life any other way. Sure, the nights are rough when a baby is crying and I realize I was just up an hour ago with the other one but when they open their eyes and interact with you, it makes all those long nights disappear. However, I don't think it makes all the diapers disappear, both Jon and I could do without those especially since we've both been peed on multiple times and Jon's even been pooped on!

I'm hoping to keep the blog updated more frequently now that we are on a "schedule". Feel free to ask questions and we'll answer as best we can but the majority of their situation is confidential. The twins are foster children and although we would love to adopt, right now the case plan is reunification with the birth parents.

We finally filled the shoes!

OFFICIALLY Certified Foster Parents

We PASSED! The state has looked into our home life, our dog, our finances, our upbringing, our marriage, our criminal history and found nothing too concerning. So it's official! We are finally licensed foster/adoption parents!!! The news came last Thursday, August 29th. 

On Friday morning I called our licensing agent and discussed preferences and placement lists. We decided to accept children ages 0-3 as long as one is under the age of 1. After numerous other questions, we also decided to be placed on the immediate placement list so literally a call could come at any time. That's exactly what our agency said to us and she wasn't lying.

Friday around 3pm, I received our first placement call. I knew it was a placement call before I answered the phone, I'm not sure why but I just knew. I'm glad I did because CPS does not do anything to help you determine if this is the child for your family or not. This is how the phone call went: 

     CPS: "Hi my name is ____ from Child Protective Services. I have a 1 year old boy that I was wondering if you could take."
     Tina: ............. (attempting to remember our classes and what they told us to ask)........"Ummm do you know why they are being removed from the home?"
     CPS: "Yes, ___________ on his younger, 5 month old brother; his 4 year old brother has already been placed"
     Tina: (Quickly doing the math on a 1 year old and a 5 month old....doesn't really add up) "Is he exactly 1 year old or is he younger or older? What ethnicity is he? Where is the 5 month old?" (I caught on quickly, CPS knows a lot but they try to tell you nothing)
     CPS: "He's a little over a year, he was born on March 8th"
     Tina: (Confused because I'm pretty sure that means he's almost 18 months which is very different than a 1 year old) "We are going to have to decline, he isn't within our preferences."
     CPS: "Okay, thank you for your time."

We had heard CPS was typically pushy and didn't like when you declined but this guy wasn't upset at all, he was very polite which is what I would hope. The excitement of Friday didn't end there. At 9pm that evening Jon received our 2nd placement call. It went very similar to the first except this CPS agent didn't have hardly any information. We also realized at this point that our preferences must not be in the system because we again turned the children down due to not meeting our preferences. Jon asked the CPS agent if our preferences were in there and she said no so she updated them. Since that call, we haven't heard anything. The excitement of the calls and being licensed have really made the next 2 days difficult because now we feel mentally ready but nothing has happened. Every time Jon's phone rings, we both get that little bolt of adrenaline/excitement. 

We will definitely update once we accept our first placement but until then I wanted to remind everyone of some rules we have to follow regarding confidentiality.

1. You won't see pictures on this blog, or on Facebook or Instagram, with any identifying details (i.e. no faces). Once we have adopted the children pictures are fair game!
2. This also means that you cannot take pictures of our children either. I know it'll be hard, but remember these are someone else's kid's until we adopt and we can't have pictures floating around due to confidentiality. Again, once the adoption is finalized, start snapping away!
3. Close family and friends will know the children and their names because they will be attending events with us, however please refrain from using their names in the online world due to confidentiality. 
4. Please do not ask us why the children came into our care. If it is necessary for you to know, you will know but otherwise just treat them like any other niece, nephew, grandchild, or kid.
5. We will be unable to post specifics about the case or court details. Major decisions can be posted in a general overview but all the details are kept confidential to protect the children. Details of their cases are their own to share, as they see fit (and when they can talk).

We look forward to sharing the next steps of our journey with everyone! Please keep us in your thoughts while we await our life changing phone call!

Medically Complex 3 of 3

This past Saturday we completed our last training class! 

We covered the ways to nurture and discipline a child with special needs. The majority of this was a repeat of PS MAPPS which was frustrating to sit through again.

The interesting part of this class was the talk about taking care of ourselves as foster parents. So far all the classes are concerned with the children and what's best for the child you are caring for so it was definitely different to talk about making sure we take care of ourselves and the grieving process we'll go through when a child reunites with a parent.

Here's our "Road to Good Self-Care"

• Give yourself permission to need something
• Keep it simple
• Don't compare yourself to others
• Plan the hardest part of your day ahead of time
• Join a parent support group
• Have down time every day
• Plan things to look forward to
• Accentuate the positive

As part of taking care of ourselves we discussed how to use respite care and what information we would need to provide them. 

And finally we discussed important milestones of children so we can hopefully be proactive about identifying a child that is behind and needs additional help.

After 15 more hours of training, we graduated!

License countdown: Somewhere between 8 to 23 days!

There probably won't be another update until we get fully licensed and then it'll be whenever the BIG day is. Keep us in your thoughts as our lives are about to drastically change!

Medically Complex 2 of 3

This week we discussed diagnosis, diseases & conditions. We discussed everything from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), to Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) to Substance Exposed Neonatal (SEN) and lots of others in between.

FAS causes mental and physical defects and is typically a chronic disease. The most interesting thing I learned about this is a physical defect of a child with FAS is a smooth philtrum. After learning this, it's hard not to look at adults for this symptom.

An infant with SEN is typically something the child can overcome and grow out of and doesn't leave physical defects. These children can have withdrawal symptoms beginning at 72 hours and can continue for up to 6 months. They are typically easily irritable and sensitive to light, sound, and smells. We learned different ways to help calm and sooth these infants such as speaking quietly and turning down lights.

These instructors are definitely interested in keeping us involved. This week we had a "Myth or Fact" worksheet to keep us awake. Here are a couple of the questions:

• You can catch poison ivy from someone who has it. 
• Myth or Fact
• It's easier for a couple to conceive if the man wears boxer shorts instead of briefs
• Myth or Fact
• Eating turkey causes drowsiness
• Myth or Fact
• Before modern pregnancy tests, if a rabbit injected with a woman's urine died, the woman was pregnant.
• Myth or Fact
• Your heart stops beating every time you sneeze.
• Myth or Fact
• Homemade chicken soup is good for a cold.
• Myth or Fact

Answers to come!

One more class and then we are set. I think one of the only things we have left to do is practice installing the car seat into our vehicles so we aren't frantically trying to figure it out on our way to pick up a child.

35 days or less until we are licensed!

Medically Complex 1 of 3

Yesterday we attended our first of three Medically Complex classes. We covered how quickly we should have an EPST ( Early and Periodic Screening, Diagnostic and treatment) Exam after accepting a placement along with proper medication administration and the different medical resources available to us as foster parents.

Some of it covered the same topics as Medication Administration but a review can't hurt when it comes to medical assistance. Our teachers for this course are much better than the original PS MAPPS course. They are much better at keeping us involved. Such as training us on properly removing gloves. We had to wear gloves, have chocolate syrup poured on them, smear it around, then properly remove them without getting any chocolate syrup on ourselves or the desks! Another way they kept us involved was with proper medication administration. Each group received 3 "prescription" bottles and had to identify the thing that was wrong with the prescription. Sometimes there was a peanut allergy listed on the label and then there were peanut M&Ms as "pills" in the bottle or the expiration date had passed, etc.

We also got out of this class earlier than any of our other classes so all and in all it wasn't too bad. Keep posted for next week's update!

42 days or less until we are licensed!

The Countdown Begins

Just wanted to give a quick update, we had some set backs with our license application. Nothing major, just getting forms updated by doctors which can take awhile because doctors are so busy.

However, we are finally done with the paperwork and our license application has officially been submitted as of July 31st!

In 45-60 30-45 days we will officially be licensed foster/adoption parents!

Technically 59 44 days today...

Home Study (aka 4 hour interview with our agency)

The final item before our paperwork is submitted to the licensing board is a 4 hour interview with our licensing specialist. After 5 hours of First Aid/CPR classes, 3 hours of state online portal forms, 15+ hours of paperwork, and over 30 hours of PS MAPPS courses, I didn't understand what else could be left to ask us. We've already talked about losses in our lives, how we were raised, how we met, detailed out our finances, and talked about how we plan to raise children, what else could be left? I had a slight gut feeling that numerous things were going to be repeated from earlier paperwork.

Unfortounately I was right. Luckily our licensing specialist is nice and down to earth so it wasn't awful and she was able to take the 4 hours down to 3 hours and 15 minutes. Here's a quick rundown of the questions we were asked:

Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
Have you ever filed for bankruptcy?
Do you think you can financially support a child?
Describe your parents.
How often do you talk to your parents?
How were you disciplined growing up?
Do you plan to parent the same as your parents did? Why or why not?
Describe each sibling's personality.
How was your relationship with each sibling growing up?
How is your relationship with each sibling now?
What is your biggest accomplishment/happiest moment in life?
How did you two meet?
How do you think you make a good wife/husband?
How do you think your wife/husband shows you love and affection?
Have you ever smoked cigarates or done drugs?
Do you drink? How often?
What is the biggest loss that's occured in your life?
Do you have a support system?
What discpline methods do you plan to use?
How many times will you try something with a child before you give up?

After all the questions, she did a quick walk through of our house. Then she had us sign paperwork stating she didn't see any concerns with us and that our paperwork is getting submitted for licensure. I'd say we passed with flying colors!

It'll probably be submitted within the next week and then it'll take 30-45 days to be fully licensed!

So now we just wait...until August. We have 3 more classes called Medically Fragile that are an agency specific requirement since we are taking in children under the age of 2. We'll keep you updated!

Dr. Seuss Room

I'm amazed that in 2 short months we went from a guest room and office to full blown children's room and office/guest room. After we picked the theme (Dr. Seuss in case you missed the last few posts), it came down to selecting colors. We already knew we wanted to do a grass/sky scene so we had something to stick the decals on. Check out the decals here: Dr. Seuss decals! Then we went paint shopping!

And started painting the sky....

Well first comes the typical name painting on the walls - no room is complete without a Lyons stamp! "Baby" is a custom made blue to match the colors in the Dr. Seuss decals. "Lyons" is a traditional light blue. It took awhile to choose as the Dr. Seuss blue was very vibrant and fun but in the end we decided on a more sky blue color. 

The room sat with just the sky blue and green, grassy hills for weeks while Jon pulled off the pale yellow base boards and nailed on new, fancy white base boards. For those that don't know, our house was flipped and the paint job was awful! They painted EVERYTHING this disgusting pale yellow color. By everything, I mean base boards, window trim, air vents, closets....literally everything! As we update rooms, we are slowly fixing their laziness.

After the adoption shower, it was finally time to start putting the room together. Jon put together the crib and toddler bed with Maggie's help of course. 

I worked on putting the books on the bookshelf, taking apart the diaper cakes, putting diapers away, putting sheets on mattresses, organizing toys, etc. Look how tiny little kid clothes are!

Yesterday we got to put the finishing touches on the room. Dr. Seuss decals went up, truffula trees went up and picture frames went up. We can now say we are officially ready for our children!!

Interesting fact: The dresser in this picture is the dresser my parents used to change me!

The curtains in this picture were made by my mom. They have little truffula trees on them.
The pink, yellow, & blue truffula trees in the corner are from our adoption shower!

What do you think of our future children's room?

Foster/Adoption Shower

This past Saturday our families threw us a foster/adoption shower. Think baby shower but the woman isn't pregnant, otherwise pretty much the same idea. I was amazed to see that we had over 50 people show up (spouses & kids were invited)! 

The food was what else but NACHOS! Jon's family brought all the makings for nachos including beef AND chicken! There were chips, cheese, beans, jalapenos, tomatoes, lettuce, sour cream, salsa, and guacamole. Jon and I have a strange addiction to nachos, it all began when we were dating...there's a good story behind that one. Ask us about it sometime!

The theme was Dr. Seuss of course. My mom and sister did a superb job transforming the room into a Dr. Seuss wonderland. They had truffula trees hanging from the ceiling, Dr. Seuss activity pages for placemats, Dr. Seuss books for center pieces, green (deviled) eggs & ham, Cat in the Hat cake, Thing 1 & Thing 2 cake, Lorax punch and much much more!

Green (deviled) eggs & ham

One Fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue fish,
Will you have a goldfish?

The Truffula trees

Table settings & Karl, Kari & Stephanie

The Lorax punch

CAKES: Thing 1, Thing 2 & 2 baby things, Cat in the Hat,
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish NEW fish! 

Lorax nutter butters

Welcome New Lyon Fish banner

After some socializing and eating we played our first game. Dr. Seuss quotes with missing words. Of course Jenna Cochran, first grade teacher, won! She got all of them but 1! The second game was guessing how many goldfish and worms were in a jar. Kris Lyons won the goldfish and Ron Lobitz won the worms. I'm not much of a baby shower game person so my mom kept it short and sweet at 2 games.

Then we opened presents so the kids could go out to the pool and swim. We received so many wonderful things. Bath toys, books, car seats, stroller, mattress, diapers, stuffed animals, crib, baby photo albums, baby learning videos, toys, gift cards, etc! We are so thankful for our wonderful friends and family that are helping us on our adventure!

The gift table

Diaper tricycle made by my mom

Barn my dad fixed up

I hope our child loves to read because we received piles of books! We didn't originally plan to buy a bookshelf but now we'll need one. I love reading so I'm excited to open each of these books when I have little ones to read to!

 After we opened gifts, we socialized a bit more and then headed down to the pool for some fun! It was an amazing evening and we are so very thankful for all the hard work our families put into it and for all our friends and family that came to celebrate with us!

The only thing I regret is not taking more pictures! I'm missing pictures of people, if anyone has any please e-mail them to me!

Medication Administration

Last night was our last class for this PS MAPP section. (We still have Medically Fragile in August but that won't hold up our licensure as that is a licensing agency requirement verses a state requirement.)

The topic last night was Medication Administration and was the only class that had a test. We were given the test at the beginning of class and told that it would mirror the powerpoint. Sadly, I still saw people leaning over and copying from their neighbor. If you can't answer some simple true/false and fill in the blank questions that are almost verbatim off a PowerPoint then I don't think you should be parenting. Luckily for them, I don't make the requirements otherwise I would have failed some people.

Most of what we covered is pretty basic stuff. Wash your hands before administering, explain what you are doing, check the labels, make sure there are no funny pills mixed in with the regular, you know, the norm. Then we started walking through the documentation required. If you know me, you know I am OCD about being organized but even I am overwhelmed by the amount of paperwork we'll be completing. If you're curious on how many forms I get to keep track of here's the  DES foster parent forms website. Although the only form that appears to be missing is the medication one.

For med's alone, I have to document every single time I or someone else give the child any meds including over the counter (cough medicines, ointments, aspirin, tums, etc). According to our instructor this apparently includes sunscreen. Last time I checked, sunscreen wasn't considered a medicine but what do I know? Don't mind me if you see me with a child and my head in a tablet, I'm probably documenting that we just put some aloe on the child because we forgot to use sunscreen because I didn't have time to document it so now we have a burnt child. That's another thing, most of these forms have to be signed so we are not sure if they can be done electronically. We are going to look into it and then I'll just carry a tablet around instead of a binder full of silly paperwork. Someone needs to tell DES to get with the 21st Century!






Needless to say, Jon and I passed our exams and received our certificates for both PS MAPP's and Med Admin. Look how pretty they are! We worked so hard for these! 

For all our loyal blog readers, you get a sneak peek at a little project Jon and I have been keeping secret. We've been looking for a way to make the foster/adoption announcement public (right now it's mostly close friends and family) and we thought, why not do a foster/adoption photo shoot? So we did and we just got the pictures back. Here's a sneak peek of our soon to be official announcement:

We are excited to share all the photos very soon...

I'm not sure how often our updates will come now that our main classes are completed but I will still try to do things every couple of weeks so no one gets bored :)

Parenting Preparations

Our families are throwing us a foster care / adoption shower on June 29th and my sister has been bugging us to get registered so she can send out the invitations. The invitations are extremely adorable, what do you think? 

We think she did an AWESOME job - Thanks Lisa! 

I don't know how first time parents figure out what they need and what they don't need. There are SO many things at baby stores and 50 different types of every item. Do you want a big bottle or a little bottle, a slow flow bottle or a fast flow, a jogging stroller or a regular stroller and then do you want a single or a double? Baby stores are very overwhelming for first time parents if you ask me. We did manage to have a little fun and not just get stressed out. Jon had a lot of input on the diaper bag as he didn't want to be carrying a pink purse, what do you think of our selections?

My biggest concern is the stroller. I refuse to own 3 strollers. Everyone suggests a regular stroller and an umbrella stroller since they are so compact however I'm concerned I'll also need a jogging stroller. We are trying to find a stroller that can be used everyday and I can take jogging. I spent a good 30-45 minutes at each store testing strollers, running down aisles with them and testing their turning radius. Don't think that I was the only one having fun though, Jon was making sure they could do some wheelies! Does anyone have some good advice on strollers?

 

 

This week we also had our CPR/First Aid Certification course. Neither Jon nor myself have ever taken a class like this and we heard from other people in our regular class that it is quite boring so we were less than thrilled. Luckily we had an excellent teacher named Nick from Heart Savers who was extremely interesting! After about a 30 minute run through of CPR we got to practice on Bob (Adult mannequin) and Stewie (Baby mannequin). Here's me saving Bob's life :)

After our break we completed the First Aid certification. We also found this class very interesting and practical. We learned what to do for internal bleeding, asthma attacks, allergic reactions, seizures, strokes, scrapes and cuts, eye injuries, nose bleeds (interestingly enough you actually don't put your head back and pinch your nose like we were all taught), tooth injuries, burns, poisoning, and bites and stings. We now have a handy book with phone numbers and quick reference for all the different situations. I'm very happy we had to take this course.

Any advice for first time parents from all our experienced friends and family?

PS MAPP 10: Endings & Beginnings

Technically our last PS MAPP course! *Commence all the cheering and applause* We actually made it through!! I say technically our last because we still have to attend class next Tuesday in order to graduate. It's a class called Med Admin.

This class started with a woman from the agency who explained how the foster care placement process works. Basically there are 2 types of placement:

1. Emergency/immediate
2. Regular

With emergency the child is in need of a safe home right now. We will receive a phone call from our agency asking if we are willing to accept the placement. They will know only basic details: age, gender, ethnicity, etc. If we accept, they will submit us to CPS. CPS will receive families from numerous agencies. If they pick us, we will receive a phone call from the CPS Shelter Coordinator who will notify us that we will be receiving a child/children. Then we'll get a call from the CPS Case Manager that will schedule a time to pick up the child/children. 

The most interesting thing about this is you cannot check with your spouse before accepting an emergency placement. There is not enough time for it so whomever answers the phone has to make a wise decision.

Regular placement occurs when there were no foster homes available on the day the child was removed and so they were placed in a group home or shelter. If a child matches our specifications then an initial meeting is set up with the child, us, and the CPS case manager. If the meeting goes well, then we set up a day visit where the child can come to our home or go out for an activity. If the day visit goes well, then we can schedule an overnight visit. There are generally only 3 visits prior to placement. Children in regular placement tend to be older than age 6 so we will most likely be in the emergency situation.

Next we did a few activities regarding shared parenting and then we quickly moved onto the end of PS MAPP's and the Next Steps we have to take.

While going through this 4 page document, I quickly became overwhelmed. Here is a quick overview of it:

• Once all your completed paperwork is turned in, all of the references are received, fingerprint and CPS checks have cleared, and your packet is complete, you will be assigned a licensing worker. (We still need our CPR/First Aid Certification which is scheduled for this Saturday)
• Your licensing worker will contact you to set up a meeting to complete your home study. This interview process takes approximately 4 hours to complete!
• The home study must be completed within 30 days of class ending.
• The state licensing department has 60 days to approve or deny our license.
• At a minimum you must have a bed and dresser for the number of children you are seeking, prior to licensing.
• It is a good idea to have items on hand that you may need in the first month. (For us this is a crib, car seat, formula, couple of sizes of clothes, etc."
• You will need to have a couple of day cares selected as you can receive a placement within a day of being added to the available bed resource list.
• You are required to keep a file folder for each child that is placed in your home. This will be checked by your licensing worker on a regular basis.
• You will need to log all contact on the contact log, this will be checked during monthly visits. 
• On a quarterly basis your worker will be checking the Life book for each child and checking your medication storage.

It's crazy to think that in about 2 months we could be fully licensed and potentially have children in our home! I definitely do not feel ready especially considering we don't have anywhere for them to currently sleep, no car seat, no clothes, no baby food...pretty much we have 1 book, 1 bottle, and Cat in the Hat with Thing 1 & Thing 2 that need to get on the walls! We have a lot to do!

Steven Part 2

Envelope #2: Second day after placement

During the comprehensive developmental exam, the doctor has concerns about Steven's developmental delays and recommends that he be evaluated for services through the Arizona Early Intervention Program. The pediatrician also wants Steven to have an extensive eye examination by a Pediatric Ophthalmologist and would like the exam completed this week.

At 5:00pm today, you have the introductory meeting with Sara Smith (Steven's mom). During the meeting you each share information and learn about each other. It is apparent that Sara is angry at CPS and desperately wants to have her child returned to her care. Sara is courteous with you because you are caring for her son although she seems scared of your motives and fears she will never get her son back. She did provide you with an abundance of information so you can care for her child as she would. The first parental visit is set for tomorrow at 5:00pm.

1. How do you feel after meeting Sara?
• Surprisingly positive because she is working with us, sharing information, and doing what's best for Steven.
2. What are the benefits of this type of meeting when a child is first placed in your home?
3. How do you prepare Steven for his parental visit?
4. Who is responsible for transporting Steven to the visit?
• CPS and the foster parents but primarily the foster parents.

Envelope #3: Third day after placement

The CPS Case Manager reports all went well with Steven's visit with mom. He was so excited to see her that he clung to her leg when informed that mom needed to leave. Mom bought him a new teddy bear to sleep with and a new blanket to carry around that he brought to your home when he returned from the visit.

While the case manager is there she asks to see your home. You give her a tour. In Steven's bedroom she checks on his bedding and opens the closet and dresser drawers. Then in the kitchen she opens the cupboards and checks the refrigerator.

Once the case manager left your home, Steven begins to act our. He is screaming, crying and running around having a tantrum. He continues to be inconsolable after using every technique you know.

Steven, in anger and frustration, grabs something very special to you. The piece has great sentimental value and is irreplaceable. It falls to the floor and breaks.

After Steven has cried himself to exhaustion, you tuck him into bed for the evening. You finally can take a breath.

1. What is your immediate reaction to the loss of this item?
• Anger. I would need to take a deep breath before I react.
2. How do you handle Steven's behavior?
• Timeout for 2 minutes in order to help him calm down. Talk to him about what happened at his visit and why he is feeling the way he is. Explain to him that is behavior is unacceptable.
3. How do you feel about this outburst?
4. If it continues how will you deal with such incidents in the future?
5. What do you think of the actions of the CPS Case Manager while in your home?
• Intrusive and frustrating but at the same time we understand that it's in the best interest of the children.

Envelope #4: Ninety days after placement

This evening while you are fixing dinner one of your children and a friend are playing their favorite video game in the next groom. Steven enters the room where the children are playing and says, "mine...froggy game...now". Your child pauses the game and tells Steven that as soon as they are done with this game, he will put on the froggy game and play with him. Steven does not want to wait and goes over to the game system and pulls it onto the floor, it is attached to the tv and the tv falls to the floor. The TV has hit Steven in the head and he is now bleeding. Steven is crying and still yelling that he wants to play the game.

After you remove Steven from the area and attend to his wounds you believe that he needs stitches.

1. Where do you go to seek medical attention?
• If only stitches are required, we can only go to an urgent care.
2. Who do you notify and how do you document it?
• CPS must be notified within 2 hours. We will have to file a significant incident report.
3. What are you going to do about Steven's actions?
• No TV & video games. Explain the reason these items are being taken away and begin working on his patience and sharing.
4. What assistance might you have with the property damage?
• We can file a claim with the Provider Indemnity Program. 
5. How do you feel right now about your decision to bring Steven into your home?

Envelope #5: Six months after placement

This morning you take Steven to Target to get some more clothes. Once inside, Steven yells his mom's name and runs to his mother. He is not going to leave her side.

Later in the day, Steven is quietly playing with building blocks on the living room floor. You step away to use the restroom. When you re-enter the living room, Steven is no where in sight and the front door is open. You rush outside and yell his name; frantically you search everywhere for him. You are unable to find him.

Thankfully, Steven was found by the police. He had run after a dog that was in the front yard. The police found him six blocks away from your home.

1. How do you handle the situation in Target?
• Say hi, talk for a few minutes. Explain to Steven that we only have a few minutes but he'll see his mom again on the specific date of the next visit.
2. How do you feel about the situation in Target?
• Awkward and uncomfortable
3. What reports do you need to file after the runaway incident?

Congratulations, you have just completed a simulation of your life with a foster child in your home!

1. How do you feel?
2. What type of impact has this experience had on you and your family?
3. Did anything have to change with Steven entering your family?
• Yes, work schedules, patience level had to increase, our roles within the house changed

Meet Steven

You receive a phone call from your licensing agency at 3:00 am stating the following: 

• Steven is 2 and a half years old and was removed during a police raid of the home, Methamphetamine's were found to be cooking in the trunk of the family's only vehicle. Mom, Sara Smith, had called the police to inform them of the operation. Mom stated she was in fear for her life and that of her child because the boyfriend beats them both. The police were able to confirm signs of domestic violence. The boyfriend was arrested for the manufacturing of meth and possession with intent to sell. Mom was released and placed in a shelter. Steven was placed in the care of CPS until his safety in the care of his mother could be assessed. CPS is concerned that Steven's mom stayed in the home after she knew about the meth operation. There were additional concerns as to whether or not she would bail out her boyfriend.
• The police warrant was served at 11:00 pm and Steven was sleeping in the home when the police arrived. Steven underwent all the necessary precautions to safety remove him since he was believed to have been exposed to toxic, active chemical agents. He was then taken to Hope Hospital for an intital medical examination and toxicology testing. His clothing was taken due to a chemical smell and he was given a shower to remove any trace chemicals. Steven was released with instructions that he was to have a comprehensive medical examination from a pediatrician within the next two days.
• Steven is an only child.
• Mom reports she is unsure of whom the child's father is, she has no family living in the state and has no friends, neighbors, or co-workers who can care for Steven.
• Three months ago, Mom relocated to the area with her boyfriend of one year. They had been living 250 miles away in another part of Arizona.
• Mom reports that Steven has no known medical issues. He is a loving and obedient child who is very attached to her. No other information was able to be gathered since the Mom was ushered away to the hospital for an evaluation and then taken to a shelter.
• The child has only the clothes on his back due to the possibility of chemical contamination from the meth production. The clothes were provided by CPS.

Even though there is very little information known about this child, you and your family decide you are willing to make a commitment to this child and to provide a stable and nurturing home while he is out-of-home foster care. Steven arrives at your home at 5:00 am.

1. What do you need for Steven?
2. You need to schedule Steven's medical exam. What proof of insurance do you have?
3. Who will take Steven to the medical examination?
4. Who can sign the forms?
• We can for the initial exam and routine care.
5. How do you get the examination paid for?
• We sign them "Tina Lyons for DES/CMDP" in order to not be liable for payment.
6. What do you want to learn from Steven's mom at the ice breaker meeting?
7. How are you feeling about this day?
• Nervous, excited, scared, sympathetic & sad for Steven, overwhelmed

Get a good night's sleep and get ready for tomorrow's envelope!