3/19/13: Meet with Agency Intake Specialist
Met with Agency Intake Specialist to discuss the paperwork we need to
bring to our first PS MAPP class. She also went over some basic questions about
me and Jon like our age, birth dates, criminal history, home size, etc. We were also able to ask questions so one of the first we asked as I'm' sure you are wondering too was "How soon would we be licensed and have a child in our home?" Her answer: As soon as June. Yes, it took me a few minutes to comprehend but it is possible we will have a child or children before the end of the year! She finished up with a very quick tour of our house and that was it. It was a quick
30-minute meeting for us to meet our intake specialist face to face.
4/02/13: Paperwork night at AZ Children’s Association
We had
to bring all those important life documents: passports, driver’s license,
marriage license, 1 month of paystubs, dog rabies certificate, dog county
license, car insurance, etc. In addition we had to create a fire evacuation
plan for our house with 2 exits from each room. At this meeting they finger
printed us and we signed numerous documents stating everything from
self-disclosure of our criminal history to understanding our responsibilities
as foster parents.
04/09/13: First PS MAPP class
PS MAPP is Partnering for Safety
and Permanence-Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting.
This class was extremely dry and covered instructor introductions, PS MAPP
objectives, definitions, and laws of foster care/adoption. We were ecstatic
when this class was finally over, 3 hours of “legal” verbiage is not my idea of
a fun Tuesday night.
04/09/13: Second PS MAPP class
We covered Erikson’s Developmental
Stages along with how to identify strengths and needs of an individual. They
are very adamant about not having a weakness, instead you have a need. Weakness
implies something that cannot be fixed whereas a need is something that can be
worked on and improved. After every class we get “Roadwork” which really means
homework and we have to complete our strengths and needs that we identified
from that class. This is definitely not something Jon and I enjoy but it normally gets some conversation going. This class
was again very dry and difficult to stay awake for 3 hours. We are starting to
notice how frustrating the class is and worrying about how we plan to make it
through the next 8 classes!
04/20/13: First Baby Shopping Trip
Jon and
I decided to go shopping for some baby items in order to get a better feel of
prices and what’s even out there or available. We went to Ikea and were
disappointed in the minimal selections. There were only 3 cribs and 2 of them
looked pretty flimsy. The 3rd was alright, the main thing was the prices looked good. We were also looking for ideas for a theme for the baby’s room but
Ikea left us with nothing.
Babies
R Us was another world! We definitely got somewhere with the car seats and
stroller options and have a pretty good idea what we’ll be getting. We want
something practical but also something I can take running, yes I still plan to
have time for that after kids! At least then I'll have an excuse for how slow I am! Looking at the furniture at Babies R Us was
completely overwhelming, it is all so expensive! They also left us with nothing
as far as a theme. Overall it was a successful trip since we were just trying
to get our feet wet.
Later that day we did some internet searching for baby room
theme’s and finally we found one that we love! Dr. Seuss! Who doesn’t love
silly rhymes?! Seemed goofy and perfect for our children! Right then and there
we ordered large Dr. Seuss characters for the walls! These ones in particular:
In the afternoon we randomly stopped at a garage sale and
checked out a crib. Decided against it but I was browsing the books because I
love to read and found a Dr. Seuss Book “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue
Fish”. It was in pretty good condition except a few smudges on the
outside cover. It was only 50 cents so we bought it! I cleaned it at home and
it looks almost brand new – lucky find. First item for the child’s room and it
was less than a dollar - so far success! I then proceeded to read the entire book to Jon with
voice changes and everything! While reading the book we found a quote we love that will probably find it's way to the baby's room:
The excitement of being parents is definitely starting to grow!
04/23/13: Third PS MAPP class
This
class was a little more interesting than the previous two. Instead of just identifying what stage of
life a child from a specific scenario is in or identifying a child’s strengths
and needs; we actually discussed how we would relate to the child from our own
personal experiences. However, Jon and I realized we have led very blessed lives and cannot easily relate to a physically and/or sexually abused child or a
neglected child who has been ripped from their home (Thanks a lot parents!).
To help everyone understand the types of things that are discussed in class, let me give you an example. This class we discussed maturational and situational losses. A maturational loss is a loss you expect to occur during the normal course of life. Here were the class examples of
a maturational loss:
Event
|
Loss
|
Gain
|
Birth
|
Security of the womb
|
Life
|
Walking
|
Free ride
|
Independence
|
Talking
|
Whining
|
Communication
|
Toilet Trained
|
Freedom
|
Caring for self
|
Starting School
|
Constant comfort
|
Friends/knowledge
|
Becoming a teenager
|
Innocence
|
Independance/young adult status
|
Leaving home as a young adult
|
Family support financial &
emotional
|
Responsibility
|
Marriage/Coupling
|
Independence
|
Partner
|
Children
|
Free time, money
|
Family
|
Middle Age
|
Youth, physical looks
|
Experience/Wisdom
|
Retirement
|
Job/career
|
Free time
|
Old Age
|
Health, spouse
|
Respect
|
Please re-read the toilet trained
event loss. Yes, our class identified the toilet training loss as losing the freedom of being able to go
to the bathroom whenever you please. Really? That’s a loss? How about the loss
of a diaper and the messy, insanitation that goes along with that? During this class, it took a lot for Jon and I not to take pictures to share with the world. It's slightly scary that these answers are coming from future parents.
In case you were wondering, a situational loss is something that occurs due to an unexpected or unplanned event. Foster kids will all have this because they have lost their family, friends, their stability, and possibly loss of innocence, etc.
This class was more intriguing but
still left an uncomfortable feeling in us. Our teachers will tell stories but they focus a lot on how difficult this path will be instead of balancing it with the positives like the joy that children bring. One statement in particular was difficult to understand. One of the instructor’s stated that a child will attach to the
foster family but they will never truly bond with them. I don’t understand
this. If that’s true then why does anyone ever foster or adopt? Don’t humans desire a
bond with other people? Just because it isn’t biological doesn’t mean you
can’t bond with someone. I bond with my friends and I’ve definitely bonded with
my husband and none of them are blood. Comments like that really discourage me
but we are hoping to get together with some friends that have adopted four children to
get their take on this class and see if they can help us work through our frustrations.
Has anyone had a positive, personal experience with adoption?
