I don't even know where to begin on this whirlwind of emotions in the last month. Going into the foster care process I knew it'd be emotional but I thought it'd be emotional only when the kids went home but I was wrong, very wrong. It's emotional the entire way through this very confusing and unorganized system so I guess I'll just start chronologically and see where the pen, or rather, keys take us.
Saturday, September 7th: The phone rings, its a number I didn't recognize, so I assume its a call from CPS about a possible placement, but we have received 3 calls before that didn't match our preference, so I wasn't getting my hopes up. The caller explained they were looking for a home for 2 day old twins, one boy and one girl. Jon didn't hear the phone call but was getting excited as he watched my face light up. We weren't originally planning on two newborns, but we figured that meant twice as much fun so we gladly accepted. I don't remember feeling nervous or scared or anything but excited when I was sitting in the NICU waiting for CPS. The NICU nurse found out we were first time foster parents AND first time parents so she gave us a baby 101 course. She went over temperatures, feedings, diaper changes, and umbilical cord care and then walked us downstairs, loaded the babies into the car with some minor complications and sent us on our way. Jon drove like an old man the whole way home - he was even driving UNDER the speed limit. I was highly entertained. By far the best part of the evening was telling the family and seeing or hearing everyone's reactions to not just one baby but TWO!
Week 1: I took the entire week off of work except forwarding e-mails as appropriate. Monday we had the twins first doctor's appointment. Both babies had jaundice but otherwise they are healthy babies. We were told to give them some sun time by the window each day to help with the jaundice. Wednesday morning I got a call from CPS telling me that the children would be going home today to Birth Dad. I was devastated and called Jon at work, he immediately came home. We didn't realize just how attached you could get in 4 days! Within an hour of the first call, we got a 2nd call from CPS saying nevermind, a mistake was made and they'd be staying with us if we wanted otherwise they'd find another foster home. Silly question - of course we'll keep them! Wednesday afternoon I went to WIC and signed up for formula assistance - I was very glad I did after that first trip to the store when I realized 1 week of formula is about $80 for the twins! During the days I spent time feeding the babies and sunbathing with the them in front of the window. The nurse also told us it was never too early to read, start tummy time, or sing to them so everyday I proceeded to have sing-a-long time with them and tummy time. Tummy time was also good for Maggie as she could sniff them. Baby boy seems to enjoy my singing a little more than his sister. Neither one does too much on tummy time yet. Thursday we had a follow up doctor's appointment and baby boy was cleared of his jaundice and his weight was above birth weight. Baby girl still had jaundice and wasn't gaining weight. We were having some issues getting her to eat a whole lot. We tried a new formula and a new type of nipple at the end of the week and she seems to be eating more.
Week 2: After a couple of days on the new formula, we noticed baby girl started having some constipation so we ended up at the doctor's on Monday morning. He suggested switching to another formula or trying Karo syrup. Baby girl's jaundice is finally down and she is above birth weight so both babies are cleared until their 1 month appointment! My mom stayed home this week so I could return to work. She added Karo syrup to baby girl's bottle a couple of times but it didn't help very much so we switched formulas again. Jon thinks they should sell a sample pack of all the different formulas so we don't have to buy a whole can just to realize they don't like a formula and need to try another one. The new formula seemed to fix things and baby boy had started to show problems so we switched him too. They are both eating well and seem to enjoy tummy time. My mom took them on daily walks with the dog and my sister!
We are beginning to notice how much more they move their arms and legs on tummy time and we are excited that the nasty umbilical cords fell off and we can take real baths now! And by real baths - I mean the bathroom sink versus a sponge bath.
Week 3: The kids Guardian Ad Litem (their lawyer) called to see how things were going. This is how we found out that birth parents had court on Tuesday, the outcome being birth parents were given 2 supervised visits a week each (as they aren't together anymore) for a total of 4 visits a week. We were less than thrilled. The worst part is we learned this on Tuesday and immediately had their first visit on Wednesday, second and third on Thursday, and fourth on Friday. It's a lot of work to get the kids ready to go because we have to provide the formula, the bottles, the diapers, the wipes, etc. Our agency also told us to not send anything we cared about in case we didn't get it back, luckily that's not been an issue! We were also informed that the court has allowed the parents to attend medical visits. Super bummed! We didn't have any interest in meeting the birth parents and never realized it was possible that we wouldn't have a choice. We both met birth dad this week, he was nice to both of us and thanked us for taking good care of his kids. This was frustrating for me because I wanted to dislike him but on the surface he nice enough.
Week 4: The twins are becoming more active now and are up for a couple of hours at a time, day and night. Baby girl really enjoys tummy time while baby boy just enjoys looking around and playing with brightly colored rattles. I love holding them when they are awake because they seem to just look very deeply into your eyes - it's an unexplainable feeling, Jon says its like they are looking into our souls. This week we had our 1 month appointment and it was the first time Jon and I met birth mom. To me she seemed like a know-it-all but overall she was alright. The doctor told us what a great job we were doing with caring for the twins and that he doesn't have any concerns as they are growing as he would expect/hope.
The past month has been extremely busy but I can't imagine my life any other way. Sure, the nights are rough when a baby is crying and I realize I was just up an hour ago with the other one but when they open their eyes and interact with you, it makes all those long nights disappear. However, I don't think it makes all the diapers disappear, both Jon and I could do without those especially since we've both been peed on multiple times and Jon's even been pooped on!
I'm hoping to keep the blog updated more frequently now that we are on a "schedule". Feel free to ask questions and we'll answer as best we can but the majority of their situation is confidential. The twins are foster children and although we would love to adopt, right now the case plan is reunification with the birth parents.
We finally filled the shoes!
