Colorado Camping Craziness

About 2 months ago - I reached out and asked for some advice on Facebook about camping with little ones and got quite a bit of positive feedback:

So we booked our trip! My parents, sister, and brother-in-law also decided to join us and thank goodness they did! I knew it would be work to camp with twins that are crawling but I don't think Jon and I would have ate a single meal if it wasn't for my family.

We left Thursday morning right at nap time so the twins would sleep in the car. In Flagstaff, we picked up lunch and headed to Thorpe park to let the kids crawl around. They got to swing (at the park) for the first time - baby girl LOVED it. She was just giggling her little heart out which made me and "Grandma" giggle too. Since I can't post the cute swing picture, you get the cute doggie picture instead.

About 40 minutes from our end point, the twins started getting fussy. We were right around the 4 corners monument so we thought, why not? It was hot and there was a line but we got to the front, I stepped into Colorado, Jon stepped into Utah, I placed baby boy in New Mexico, and Jon placed baby girl in Arizona. LOVE the photo but again all you get is me.

We arrived at the KOA campsite, created a makeshift baby gate out of coolers and storage containers (our car didn't have enough room for the real gate, it was the only item left behind) and got to work setting up camp with my parents. Lisa and Ryan showed up about an hour later. Babies went to bed right on schedule and we stayed up talking with my family. The next morning I found out that baby boy didn't sleep so well but I must have been exhausted because I didn't hear a thing!

Friday morning baby boy was up early so I took him on a walk/run around the 1 mile lake on the property. GORGEOUS!

The kids got to try scrambled eggs for the first time and made a rather large mess but they had fun. They went down for a nap and we started getting ready for our trip to Mesa Verde. For Mesa Verde, Jon and I had the hiking backpacks and we rode the tram around and hiked through smaller ruins. I really wanted to try some of the larger preserved ruins but with having infants that still take naps and need to play to get energy out, it just wasn't a wise idea. Instead we headed back to camp, the kids napped in the car. Once at camp, we decided to go swimming - best idea yet! The kids had a blast floating around, splashing each other, and "jumping" in from the side. Later in the evening we watched some mediocre fireworks from the campground, but I guess you can't expect much from a small town like Cortez. The babies both went to bed at normal time but baby boy didn't sleep very well this night and ended up on the air mattress with me and Jon around 3am.

Saturday was an early morning. We had train tickets for the Durango to Silverton train tour and our train departed at 8am about 45 minutes from our campsite. When the train leaves the station and all the way through Durango, the conductor blows the whistle non-stop. Watching baby girl's reaction to this was priceless. She would stand up very straight and look around with a half scared half excited look on her face and then look at us for guidance on which emotion she should choose. Baby boy sat on my lap for the first 30 minutes just watching the scenery go by. It was a gorgeous train ride - highly recommend if you've never done this before! Although if you have infants, I also highly recommend a one way train ticket with a one way bus ticket. The all day train ride was a little much for the twins by the end of the day. We spent 7 total hours on the train! Sorry I had to cut the cuties out of the picture.

The twins slept the 45 minutes back to camp but then refused to go down for bedtime. It probably took us an hour to get them to bed and then they both woke up around 11pm screaming. This night was much colder than the other 2 so baby girl ended up in Jon's sleeping bag and baby boy was in mine. I have another cute picture of the kids cuddling with Jon - I want to show you so bad!

Sunday we woke up, Lisa and Ryan made breakfast burritos - the babies got to try potatoes for the first time. Baby boy loved them and couldn't get them in his mouth fast enough! Packing up was in my opinion our biggest downfall. We didn't properly plan packing up with nap time and didn't have the pack-n-plays available for naps so the twins were screaming on a blanket until my mom and sister picked them up and rocked them while the rest of us packed up.

All in all I had a fantastic time and would definitely go again but would definitely NOT go without the following tips:

1. Never ever camp with twins unless you have at least 2 adults to each infant unless you enjoy being sleep deprived and hangry all the time.
2. If you are taking a road trip to camp plan on adding an extra hour for every 3 hours of driving. The kids will need to get out and crawl around if you want to survive the remainder of your driving. We stopped at parks, restaurants, gift shops, and monuments to let them play.
3. Only plan 1 big activity each day as that is all you'll be able to get done anyway.
4. Attempt to keep the same nap schedule and bedtimes as they have at home.
5. Be prepared for cold weather at night. We double layered our kids in PJ's and fleece pajama's and they still woke up cold. We ended up co-sleeping in our sleeping bags (I swore I'd never do this as it scares me)
6. Bring a baby gate! We left ours at home because we didn't have room and were constantly having to run over to the babies because they would crawl off the blanket with toys and start sticking rocks in their mouths!
7. The babies will get messy and it's okay. Improvise with baths. We used small wash bins for sponge baths and then one day I just took them right into the shower with me!
8. Be flexible and have fun with them!

One Step Forward

Last Thursday we found out we are finally getting a parent aide and will not longer have to work with the case aide. If you don't know why this is exciting refer back to my frustrations a couple months ago. Parent aides have a higher level of education than case aides and actually work with the birth parents on parenting skills. I'm just excited to have someone with education - hopefully she won't be biased towards the birth parents and won't ask ridiculously stupid questions.

For the first time since we've had the twins, both birth parents attended the 4 month doctor's appointment. Previously only birth mom had attended as birth dad has a job. This was also the first time I have been alone with the birth parents. I got to hear for 30 minutes how CPS stole their babies, they didn't do anything wrong, and now CPS is trying to make him lose his job so they can prove he doesn't deserve the kids back. I was extremely irritated because 1. I can't do anything to help them get their kids back so stop complaining to me and 2. I don't like liars and I'm pretty sure CPS doesn't just take kids for the hell of it. I will be requesting next time to have a nurse or doctor in the room at all times as I don't think that was fair to me.

The twins are healthy and happy. No concerns from the doctor, they are right on their growth charts in height and weight. It's always nice to hear that I'm doing a good job.

We took a resource parent tax training class and found out we can actually claim the twins on our taxes! I realize I'm an accountant but you should know that I am NOT a tax accountant. I can research topics but I really don't like to as tax code is very dry so it was nice to be able to take a class and know our rights as far as claiming them as dependents. 

Last week we had our first CFT (Child & Family Team) meeting. Typically birth parents, foster parents, foster children, CPS case worker, and the GAL (Children's lawyer) attend these meetings and everyone discusses how the child is doing and if anything needs to be changed. The idea is to get everyone on the same page. Want to know how ours went?

Birth mom brought up a concern that Jon and I are not communicating with her enough via e-mail or phone. She gets concerned if the babies are sick on Thursday at her visit and she can't see them again until Tuesday. The case worker agreed that we should try to have more contact with her via a new e-mail that's just for her to use to protect ourselves. I felt attacked. Honestly I don't have a lot of time to be e-mailing her all the time and when I do have time, it really isn't my top priority. In case she doesn't know - I work full time, so does Jon. When we come home we feed her babies, read to her babies, bathe them and put them to bed. Then at 8pm we decide to cook ourselves dinner, eat, and head to bed because we never know if we'll be up in the middle of the night taking care of her babies. When I have a free moment I'm typically paying bills, cleaning the house, or trying to get a quick minute of relaxation in. Apparently that's not acceptable so now we have to update her via e-mail. 

As much as I complain, they aren't the worst people in the world. Birth mom did offer to let us visit the kids after they are reunified to help with the transition. I hate talking about it but it is a possibility and as much as I hate to admit it, that really is a very nice gesture. Whether or not it is valid, it is an impressive thing to offer. 

This weekend we took the twins to a music and dancing program at the library which was lead by our good friend Jennifer. She is amazing and baby boy LOVED it. He is a music boy and Jon had a good time making driving noises with him. Baby girl also enjoyed it and had quite a bit of fun putting the music toys in her mouth (Sorry Jenn!). 

MILESTONES:

• Baby girl can roll over from her back to her stomach and does so very frequently!
• Baby boy has started pushing buttons on toys
• Baby girl really giggles if you find the right spot
• Baby boy sleeps through the night 90% of the time!
• Attended their first half marathon as spectators
• Jon dressed baby girl in matching colors to me and baby boy matched him - I really wish I could post pictures as they are adorable!
• Baby boy loves standing (with assistance of course)
• Baby girl got her first ultrasound (no issues)
• Baby girl got her first bandaid
• First juice: Pear juice!
• Both babies have started teething
• Graduated from the bathroom sink to the bathtub!

1/4 of a year old

We still have the twins and the birth parents finally stopped contesting CPS dependency (I didn't make it to this hearing). Now our case will finally move out of the investigative stage and move into an on-going phase. This also means we get a new case worker. Our case has been transitioning to a new worker for over 3 weeks now...I'm still waiting to hear from someone.

Before our case worker switched the file she gave me an update and then asked me if we were interested in adopting the twins to which I replied "Yes, of course!". I was flying high the rest of our conversation until she so nonchalantly said at the end "Oh, and there are some out of state relatives interested in adopting them too." That crashed my hopes pretty quickly so now I'm back to taking one day at a time.

This month has been more difficult for me with the supervised visits. Right now there are 2 visits a week and both parents can attend together. It seems like I either get a note or a verbal complaint/concern after every visit. On top of that the twins come home fussy and starving after the majority of their visits even though I'm always told they "just ate before we left". The most recent note complained about FIVE different things. One of the items birth mom knew that I had already addressed because I sent a note telling her I had already gone to the doctor for it. Another concern of hers is that the babies smell and she wants to know how often I bathe them. As far as I've been told I shouldn't bathe them everyday because it'll dry out their skin and according to the doctor it's not necessary to bathe them everyday because they aren't crawling or walking anyway. Birth mom again told me to take both babies to the doctor for her concerns (I should start a tally). Since the two major things in her note I had already addressed with the doctor the day before, I'm not going back until the next scheduled appointment.

Dealing with birth mom's notes is one thing but its even more frustrating because the case aide seems to support birth mom's accusations. On top of that, she's very uneducated about babies which seems odd since her entire job is to transport children and supervise visits. She asked the daycare why the babies always sleep on their backs and she asked me why baby boy was losing some of his hair.

As much as I get frustrated, everything just melts away when I hold one of them in my arms. This morning baby boy woke at 4am and after he finished his bottle he just cuddled with me - there is nothing like cuddling with a tiny baby in his cute little footy, fleece pajamas. Those are the moments that make me keep fighting.

MILESTONES:

• First Thanksgiving
• First road trip (to Yuma for Thanksgiving!)
• Baby Boy has started hitting his giraffe toy that hangs in his carseat
• Both babies can sit in the Bumbo chair unassisted
• Baby Girl can roll onto her side
• Both babies can lift their heads when on tummy time
• Baby Girl is on the verge of laughing
• First weekend alone with Mommy (Jon was in Chicago for a death in the family)
• First weekend alone with Daddy (I was running a half marathon in Las Vegas)

First Time (Foster) Parents

I don't even know where to begin on this whirlwind of emotions in the last month. Going into the foster care process I knew it'd be emotional but I thought it'd be emotional only when the kids went home but I was wrong, very wrong. It's emotional the entire way through this very confusing and unorganized system so I guess I'll just start chronologically and see where the pen, or rather, keys take us.

Saturday, September 7th: The phone rings, its a number I didn't recognize, so I assume its a call from CPS about a possible placement, but we have received 3 calls before that didn't match our preference, so I wasn't getting my hopes up. The caller explained they were looking for a home for 2 day old twins, one boy and one girl. Jon didn't hear the phone call but was getting excited as he watched my face light up. We weren't originally planning on two newborns, but we figured that meant twice as much fun so we gladly accepted. I don't remember feeling nervous or scared or anything but excited when I was sitting in the NICU waiting for CPS. The NICU nurse found out we were first time foster parents AND first time parents so she gave us a baby 101 course. She went over temperatures, feedings, diaper changes, and umbilical cord care and then walked us downstairs, loaded the babies into the car with some minor complications and sent us on our way. Jon drove like an old man the whole way home - he was even driving UNDER the speed limit. I was highly entertained. By far the best part of the evening was telling the family and seeing or hearing everyone's reactions to not just one baby but TWO!

Week 1: I took the entire week off of work except forwarding e-mails as appropriate. Monday we had the twins first doctor's appointment. Both babies had jaundice but otherwise they are healthy babies. We were told to give them some sun time by the window each day to help with the jaundice. Wednesday morning I got a call from CPS telling me that the children would be going home today to Birth Dad. I was devastated and called Jon at work, he immediately came home. We didn't realize just how attached you could get in 4 days! Within an hour of the first call, we got a 2nd call from CPS saying nevermind, a mistake was made and they'd be staying with us if we wanted otherwise they'd find another foster home. Silly question - of course we'll keep them! Wednesday afternoon I went to WIC and signed up for formula assistance - I was very glad I did after that first trip to the store when I realized 1 week of formula is about $80 for the twins! During the days I spent time feeding the babies and sunbathing with the them in front of the window. The nurse also told us it was never too early to read, start tummy time, or sing to them so everyday I proceeded to have sing-a-long time with them and tummy time. Tummy time was also good for Maggie as she could sniff them. Baby boy seems to enjoy my singing a little more than his sister. Neither one does too much on tummy time yet. Thursday we had a follow up doctor's appointment and baby boy was cleared of his jaundice and his weight was above birth weight. Baby girl still had jaundice and wasn't gaining weight. We were having some issues getting her to eat a whole lot. We tried a new formula and a new type of nipple at the end of the week and she seems to be eating more.

Week 2: After a couple of days on the new formula, we noticed baby girl started having some constipation so we ended up at the doctor's on Monday morning. He suggested switching to another formula or trying Karo syrup. Baby girl's jaundice is finally down and she is above birth weight so both babies are cleared until their 1 month appointment! My mom stayed home this week so I could return to work. She added Karo syrup to baby girl's bottle a couple of times but it didn't help very much so we switched formulas again. Jon thinks they should sell a sample pack of all the different formulas so we don't have to buy a whole can just to realize they don't like a formula and need to try another one. The new formula seemed to fix things and baby boy had started to show problems so we switched him too. They are both eating well and seem to enjoy tummy time. My mom took them on daily walks with the dog and my sister! 

We are beginning to notice how much more they move their arms and legs on tummy time and we are excited that the nasty umbilical cords fell off and we can take real baths now! And by real baths - I mean the bathroom sink versus a sponge bath.

Week 3: The kids Guardian Ad Litem (their lawyer) called to see how things were going. This is how we found out that birth parents had court on Tuesday, the outcome being birth parents were given 2 supervised visits a week each (as they aren't together anymore) for a total of 4 visits a week. We were less than thrilled. The worst part is we learned this on Tuesday and immediately had their first visit on Wednesday, second and third on Thursday, and fourth on Friday. It's a lot of work to get the kids ready to go because we have to provide the formula, the bottles, the diapers, the wipes, etc. Our agency also told us to not send anything we cared about in case we didn't get it back, luckily that's not been an issue! We were also informed that the court has allowed the parents to attend medical visits. Super bummed! We didn't have any interest in meeting the birth parents and never realized it was possible that we wouldn't have a choice. We both met birth dad this week, he was nice to both of us and thanked us for taking good care of his kids. This was frustrating for me because I wanted to dislike him but on the surface he nice enough.

Week 4: The twins are becoming more active now and are up for a couple of hours at a time, day and night. Baby girl really enjoys tummy time while baby boy just enjoys looking around and playing with brightly colored rattles. I love holding them when they are awake because they seem to just look very deeply into your eyes - it's an unexplainable feeling, Jon says its like they are looking into our souls. This week we had our 1 month appointment and it was the first time Jon and I met birth mom. To me she seemed like a know-it-all but overall she was alright. The doctor told us what a great job we were doing with caring for the twins and that he doesn't have any concerns as they are growing as he would expect/hope.

The past month has been extremely busy but I can't imagine my life any other way. Sure, the nights are rough when a baby is crying and I realize I was just up an hour ago with the other one but when they open their eyes and interact with you, it makes all those long nights disappear. However, I don't think it makes all the diapers disappear, both Jon and I could do without those especially since we've both been peed on multiple times and Jon's even been pooped on!

I'm hoping to keep the blog updated more frequently now that we are on a "schedule". Feel free to ask questions and we'll answer as best we can but the majority of their situation is confidential. The twins are foster children and although we would love to adopt, right now the case plan is reunification with the birth parents.

We finally filled the shoes!