Creative Mommy's Creative Book

For the past two months, baby boy has been really into buckles and is always saying "I do it" or "I help". This made me think of making him a quiet book full of buckles, clasps, and snaps. I did some pinterest-ing to get some ideas and came across some really cute ideas.

I made the entire book out of felt and was planning to sew it but read that sewing felt is challenging but that hot glue works great. So I made the entire book out of felt, snaps, velcro, zippers, and hot glue! It turned out super cute if you ask me.

I didn't really like the idea of calling it a quiet book because my goal was not to keep my kids occupied and quiet. My goal was to encourage baby boy's mind and improve his fine motor skills with lot's of different closures. I opted not to call it a quiet book:

I found a great blog that actually had some free patterns to use with some super cute pages. This first page was made using one of her patterns. Check out Serving pink lemonade for other ideas! I love this page because the petals velcro to the page but can also be stored in the flower pot! Baby boy counted to 5 all on his own this morning so I'm hoping he shows some interest in this page soon!

The button page was free hand. Both kids have a hard time with this page as the buttons are very small. If I did it again I'd definitely get bigger buttons!

This is another favorite of mine and the pattern for the doll was also taken from Serving pink lemonade. Baby girl loves changing the clothes on this little girl. They all velcro on and she has pants, skirts, shirts, and dresses in an assortment of colors. The pink and purple boxes are a "dresser" for the girls clothes to be stored in when she isn't wearing them.

No book would be complete without a zipper page! Both kids enjoy zipping the zippers up and down over and over.

The overalls page was impromptu. I came up with this idea while looking for different clasps and buckles at the store. Jon actually gave me a pair of jeans to cut up to make the overalls but it didn't turn out as good as I had hoped. So far not much interest in this page from the kids.

The original buckle that started the idea of the whole book. I wanted to make a dog and use the buckle as his collar but every time I tried to cut a dog out of felt he looked like a blob of poop so I gave up and just made a basic page. It seems to be serving it's purpose as baby girl has spent quite some time on this page. Kids don't always need flare!

This is yet another page from Serving pink lemonade. The tennis racket strings help practice weaving. I knew this page was too advanced for my kids but I like the idea of having something they can grow into.

Before I wrote this post I thought I had come up with the majority of the pages but as I write this I realize I used a lot of ideas from Serving pink lemonade as this is another one from her page. She has the pattern available for free for the barn. The barn doors open but honestly the barn isn't too exciting.

But inside the barn are FARM animals and not just any farm animals but finger puppets. I didn't think my kids would like this page much because they are scared of puppets right now but the first day I showed them the book this was the only page they cared about. They took those finger puppets out, asked me to help them put each one on their little fingers and they ran around the house making the animals talk in a secret language! The animals even had an entire conversation with Maggie - I got a video of it and it's hilarious!

The finger puppets were such a big hit that I will likely be making more in the near future. I'm surprised they haven't fought over them since there are 3 but every time the book comes out, the cow goes to baby boy and baby girl gets the pig and chick. Every single time.

This was another page idea from Serving pink lemonade but she didn't have a pattern for it. When I free handed the tree I was pretty confident it wasn't going to turn out and I'd have to find another idea but this is my favorite page in the whole book!

You can change the seasons on the tree! The grass is a pocket that holds fall leaves, flowers for spring, summer leaves, and nothing for the winter! All of them snap onto the tree. The kids enjoy this page but need a lot of help with the snaps right now. I think another week or two and they'll have it down.

I love how the book turned out and it makes my heart smile so big when the kids pull it down off the shelf to play with it - mostly the finger puppets! The only downside to making it yourself and having so many pieces: You get paranoid when the kids are running around the house that some of the pieces are going to get lost! Such is life as a mom of twins!

Judge Rules: The foster parents are their "family"

I've been waiting for months to be able to write this update and now that it's here, I'm at a loss of words.

On August 13th, at 8:15 am I got a call from my husband. Not out of the normal so I didn't think anything of it. He asked me if I'd read my e-mail and I hadn't so I quickly opened it. I saw an e-mail from our lawyer that was the judge's ruling. I quickly flipped to the last page where the final ruling is made and read the following as tears flooded my eyes.

If I wasn't at work I would have squealed but instead I just kept saying how excited I was and we could finally move on and what a great judge we had through my tears of happiness. I was so excited and wanted to shout and scream to the world all the happiness that was in my heart. We are really going to get to stay a family! After I hung up with Jon, I just started mass texting family and friends. Honestly I have no idea how many text messages I sent and how many phone calls I received, my phone was buzzing all morning. I ran around the office telling coworkers. I was useless at work while I responded to text messages and answered phone calls - which just left me in tears of happiness over and over again and I received texts full of emotions of excitement from our family and friends.

I was so excited that I have to share this story of just how high on happiness I was. One of my employees went to the urgent care about an hour after I found out the news. Five minutes after talking to my employee, another coworker asks me if everything is all right. I respond very brightly "Yes, everything is fantastic!". She asks me about my employee stating she overheard that she wasn't feeling good. Oops - in 5 minutes I had already forgotten about my employee and was back in my own head celebrating our family. My coworker hadn't heard the news yet so once I explained to her, she understood. 

The judge took 6 days to rule. He was allowed 60 and he took 6. We'd heard over and over what a great judge he is but that proves it for me. He knew how important it was to make this decision and allow the kids to gain permanency and move on with their lives. After months of delays - he finally made the difficult decision. By difficult, I mean it's difficult in the eyes of the court system. He was presented with two equally fit families that want to adopt these beautiful children. This situation doesn't present itself often in the DES system. Sad I know but all too true, in fact they more often see kid's that have no permanency option and my kids had 2! To the judge, that's amazing and awful. Amazing because these kids will be loved either way but awful because who would want to make that decision?

His ruling severed birth mom's rights in the first sentence of the minutes. The next 3 pages discuss placement of the children and it was very well written.

He continues...

Although I already knew we were their family, it was nice of the state of Arizona to catch up.

Every other blog I read about foster care talks about the loss that occurs when permanency is decided. Every other blog talks about how the foster mom feels for the birth mom because of her loss once severance occurs. I didn't have any of those emotions when I heard the news. Maybe I'm heartless. Maybe I'm an awful person. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I had already given all my compassion to her and this was my family's moment. I think I'll go with the latter. In my mind, this allows me to move forward with my family, now the unknown won't threaten us and give us frustration and anger. Now when my kid's ask about their birth mom, I can talk in a positive light because I know my kids are safe.

The day after the news I spent my time writing lists of all the things Jon and I had said at one time or another "that's something we'll need to decide on once we adopt". Well now's the time!

• First Names
• Middle Names
• College savings accounts
• Make a will
• Adoption party planning! (Clear your calendar when we have a date - this is going to be a big party!)
• Adoption photo shoot
• Life Insurance changes
• Jon's full family photos
• Tina's full family photos

What else am I missing? I know there's more but most of it I can't start on until everything is finalized. 

You might be thinking, what are the next steps? Well we happened to ask our lawyer that exact question.

1. Wait 15 days for the appeal time. If an appeal is file, this will delay things at least a month.
2. After the appeal time is over or the appeal is lost, the kids will be free for adoption
3. File adoption paperwork
4. Adoption hearing in 2-3 months

The most important sentence of the lawyers e-mail "It should be done before 2016!"

That would make our year!

Court appearance #14 - Severance Trial

I knew today would be tough. Being a mom, it's hard to imagine sitting in a court room full of judgement while people tell me why I'm unfit to be the mother of my own kid's. I try my hardest to put myself in her shoes as the thought of losing the children I have raised devastates me every time I think about it so the pure thought of someone telling me that I am unfit - that would be tough and my heart goes out to her.

About a week after the last court hearing visits with birth mom kept getting canceled. It seemed odd to me that a couple weeks out from a severance trial you'd be missing visits but everything in this cases is opposite of what I'd expect so I tried not to read into it.

Last week the DCS case manager did her monthly visit and authorizes me to cut the kid's hair as she hasn't been able to get a hold of birth mom for some time now. Going into today I was confident birth mom would be in attendance as she has never missed a court hearing. She refused to attend today. The court decides to proceed with the severance trial as a fallback in case birth mom didn't attend for a legitimate reason (i.e. sick in the hospital, etc.). This is an actual trial, witness' are called to testify and questioned by the defense, GAL (kid's lawyer), and the state (DCS). We learned some very interesting things about the case that I wish I could share. In the middle of the severance trial we find out that birth mom has decided to stop contesting her severance. Basically she is throwing in the towel - for some reason trial continues. We later learn this is because birth mom could change her mind tomorrow so they might as well have all the evidence documented since everyone already cleared their schedules. After the questioning ends the discussion moves into placement discussions - placement means should the kids be with us or with the maternal uncle. This is not the purpose of the hearing and should not be discussed but the judge decides for whatever reason to allow it. At the end of the day the judge has 2 separate, independent decisions to make.

1. Severance or termination of birth mom's rights
2. Placement: would it be in the kid's best interest to be with maternal uncle or us

I truly believe we have a good judge. He was previously a lawyer and has been a part of the judicial system for over 35 years. In the court room he very clearly states what has occurred and how he is going to move forward and he doesn't seem to get confused by all the lawyer jargon (i.e. sometimes lies). He very directly stated that the placement decision will be extremely difficult and he cannot win and he cannot lose. He continued with "I can't lose because both families are good permanency options, I can't win because someone will be devastated by my decision." Fair, I can't be angry. The judge then directly addressed Jon and I stating he has had to put 15 year old's in jail for 15+ years and dealt with life sentences and this decision bears the same weight as those. I don't envy him. Although I'd be able to make the decision in less than a second, some people might say I'm biased. From his stand point, this is difficult and it's not often kids in DCS custody have 2 permanency options. In that regard, my kids are lucky.

As the judge addressed us I felt my eyes watering. I don't think I've mentioned this before but I go into every court hearing with a straight face, no emotions, I refuse to picture my children in my head as I want to appear strong and my kids bring on the emotions. This is the first time I couldn't hold it back. As the judge talked to us directly and I started realizing decisions are going to be made, I couldn't keep that straight face. It irritated me as I didn't want the judge to think I was putting on some show to influence him but it was not a show, it was 23 months of emotions realizing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That light may be a train about to run me over or the beautiful sun shining on the other side of the longest tunnel of my life. 

I did hold it mostly together in court but within seconds of exiting that building the tears started falling. Nothing changed today except I know that a decision about my children's future will be made within 60 days. Talking to my sister she helped me realize, it's the definitive date that is causing all the emotions. By October 8th a decision will be made about my children's living arrangements, their place to eat, their daycare, their friends, the state they reside in, their grandparents, their family, their beds, their identity. It could be earlier but it will be no later than October 8th. That is scary and wonderful at the same time.

Please pray for our judge to review all the relevant information and make his decision based on the best interest of our children.