Toddler Travels

We are finally going on our first family vacation! We've been out of town for 3-4 day trips but typically we had other reasons for going like lot's of weddings. This will be our first 1 week, summer fun family vacation and we are stoked! The only goal is to have fun as a family! Jon and I are very giddy and are getting the kids super excited. My parents will also be joining us for a couple of days and hopefully my bestie Megan will be as well. In 3 days we will be headed to San Diego to show the kids the beach, take them to the San Diego Zoo, Seaworld and anything else fun we come across. 

As excited as we are, I am extremely nervous about a 6 hour car ride with two 2 1/2 year olds. I have spent hours and I mean hours scanning mommy blog after mommy blog for ideas. One thing I knew for sure was I would continue my mom's tradition of giving gifts every hour or so in the car, if you remember she did this for the kids last September when we went up North. The hard part is finding activities that young kids can do in the car that will also entertain them for more than 3 minutes. Here are the activities and/or toys I have wrapped and ready to go:

1. Color matching with pom poms: All the pom pom's have magnets on them so they hopefully won't be rolling everywhere!
   
2. Popsicle stick puzzles: These also have magnets on them!
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Fishing Game: I can't find the awesome blog that gave me this idea but I'm curious if it'll work. I made fishing poles with yarn, dowel rod's, and magnets. Then I printed images of fish, whales, starfish, sea turtles, etc, cut them out and added magnets to them. I plan to throw these all over the floor of the car and then the kids can "cast" their fishing pole to the bottom of the car and see what they catch! 
4. Window clings: I'm nervous their little arms won't be able to reach the window's so we'll see if this one works.
5. Lap tables from Amazon: Of course I got one in pink and one in blue. I will let you know if they live up to their 5 star reviews! 
   
6. ID Bracelets from Amazon: I was reading a Yahoo news article about a woman that lost her child at Disneyland and at the end she suggested an ID bracelet or a kid's GPS tracker. Since my kids are not old enough to know that my real name is not Mommy or remember a phone number I thought this was a great idea. I choose these bracelets because they cannot be undone with 1 hand so the child cannot take it off. My kids love bracelets so they are going to think it's a neat gift and I can be contacted if we get separated - win win! Another cheaper idea is to write your name and phone number on the tag inside the child's shirt. I decided against that since it's not as easily seen.
   
7. Snacks: Lot's and lot's of snacks but I wrapped up some of the cheeze-its, oreo's, chips ahoy, and teddy graham's that are found at registers for $1.
   
8. Fart noise cups: Kid's love making funny noises especially fart noises - we will either love or hate this one by the end of the trip!
9. Play dough
10. Shape matching: All the shapes have magnets on them!
11. Map to track our progress: I loved this idea. It's hard for little kids to grasp the concept of a 6 hour drive so this gives them a visual. While I was writing this update I thought of a cool idea to add. I'm going to make magnets with their faces on them so I can move it along to show how far we are! I forgot to take a picture of this one.
12. Quiet Books: You remember the creative book I made, right? I'm bringing that one and one my mom made. They've been hidden for awhile so hopefully they seem like new to the kids!
13. Pipe cleaners: Kid's love random things, pipe cleaners are one of those. They can bend them into all sorts for shapes!
14. Crayons
15. Plastic Animals
16. Sticker books

I am hoping that is enough activities along with some sing along time, looking out the windows, if we are lucky - nap time, playing at a park in Yuma, potty breaks, and stocking up at Chile Pepper. 

Wish us luck - 3 days and counting :)

1 year wiser

Recently we've hit 2 big milestones or perhaps 3...

1. The twins turned ONE!
2. We celebrated one year of being new parents of twins
3. We survived one year of the foster care system

One of my best friends, fellow blogger, and runner (Check her blog out Run Megan Run) suggested I post what I've learned in the last year.

Foster Care Thoughts...

• Everything takes longer than you are told or expect. If you are told 6 months, plan 12 - 18 months.
• Attend EVERY court hearing. Everyone in the system will tell you there's no need for you to be there but if you want to know what's going on in the case and be able to help the kids if it affects them, BE THERE! In Arizona, it is your right as a foster parent which leads me to the next...
• KNOW YOUR FOSTER PARENT RIGHTS! Here you go: Foster Parent Rights
• Nothing is final until the judge says so
• Everyone outside the system will think you are a saint, everyone in the system will think you are just a babysitter for the child.
• Your life and your schedule do not matter to CPS. You are superhuman and will figure out how to make it work. Just remember, your time and your life do matter - it is okay to say "no".
• Utilize your agency for their experience and advice. They are your ONLY advocate. 
• The term "supervised visit" is used extremely loosely. 
• The GAL (Child's lawyer) will call 1-4 days prior to court, be prepared.
• For every accident you will go through 2 freak outs.
• 1 - The normal mom reaction - OH MY GOD how did I let that happen? Is my child okay? What actually happened? How do I fix it? I just want to kiss it better, I sure hope my kisses are magical! Oh good, the crying is getting softer, we will survive.
• 2 - Did it leave a bump? Will it be gone before the visit on Wednesday? Does this constitute a significant incident and need to be reported?
• If your foster child lives with you for more than half the year or more than half their life, if they were born that year, you can claim them as a dependent on your tax return.

First Time Mom Thoughts...

• Trust your instincts. If you think something is wrong, call the doctor. If you think everything is okay, move on.
• Accept help when offered. You are not a bad mom, you are a smart mom that recognizes when she needs a break. It's best for you, your child, and your spouse.
• You are still an individual, you are not defined by your role as a mom. Make time for yourself.
• EVERYONE will have advice, listen if you want otherwise refer to my first point.
• Get used to talking about poop. Color, consistency, frequency....
• The first 6 weeks are the roughest, you will make it through.
• Milestones are provided to make sure your kid isn't falling behind - they are not there for you to brag that your 3 month old is sitting on his or her own.
• Read, sing, talk, dance, and laugh with your child every.....single.....day.
• Baby giggles are the absolute best sound - it will never get old.

Twin Mom Thoughts...

• Everyone and I mean E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E has a twin story. Learn to listen or come up with a clever response.
• For the first 3 months, track their eating, pooping, and sleeping schedules. The doctors will ask and you will mix their schedules up. There are numerous apps for this - I missed the boat on this one.
• Don't assume because you have 2 babies, things take twice as long. Things actually take 3-4 times longer with 2 babies because while you are dressing one - the other is getting into a drawer, the trash, pulling off toilet paper, etc. Now you have a mess to attend to on top of getting out of the house.
• Attend free baby time at your local library. It gets you out of the house and gives the kids something different and kid friendly to do.
• Find a good consignment store, club, or organization. Clothes are expensive. Clothes times 2 are twice as expensive.
• Your house is going to be a mess, it's a full time job caring for twins - get over the mess. Accept help when offered.
• Enjoy and celebrate the differences between your children, they are individuals.

This has been a roller coaster ride over the last year, luckily I LOVE roller coasters. The kids are happy and healthy and I look forward to coming home every single day because the smile on their faces when I walk through the door is priceless. I am *that* mom and I am proud of it!

Haircuts and Foster Care System

This I believe will be my first official rant about the foster care system so I apologize, I am just completely in shock at the way things are handled. 

As the twins one year birthday is coming up, my husband and I have scheduled a photographer to take one year pictures of the twins about 2 weeks prior to their actual birthday. Since baby boy's hair is getting pretty long - I'm talking in his face, over his ears, every which direction long we thought it might be good to get him his first haircut prior to the pictures. You might be wondering why this is even warranting a post - it's just a haircut after all, right? Well....in the foster care system, haircuts are one of the things foster parents must seek approval on. This isn't just CPS approval, this is CPS actually getting birth parent approval. It may seem outrageous but there are a lot of cultures and heritages that have different beliefs about hair cutting. Fine, I get it. So being a good foster mom, I sent an e-mail to our case worker asking to get their haircut and explaining why I wanted to. Here was his response:

Yes, she did already tell me that it was a tradition to cut her boys hair on their one year birthday however I didn't realize 2 weeks would be a big deal. I also don't understand how this tradition is going to be kept this time around - is CPS going to give her special approval on her supervised visits to cut his hair? And what about baby girl, is she never going to get a haircut? That seems a little crazy to me. I'd also like to bring up the fact that on their last two visits she has fed them french fries, cake, and juice boxes. They are 11 months old, they don't need french fries and cake on a regular basis much less sugar loaded juice boxes. But no, I'm the crazy foster mom who wants to cut their hair so they look well taken care of. Watch out world - don't let this crazy woman watch your children - she might give them a haircut after a whole year!

Some day's as a foster mom are easier than others, today didn't start off very well.

Life is moving....literally!

It's getting harder and harder not being able to post pictures of my cuties. The older they get the more fun I have with them and I want so badly to share their adorableness with everyone!!

The big event these past months is we now have moving babies! The beautiful multi-color baby gate is now in place! This was an expensive purchase but well worth it. All the panels come apart so you can make the section larger or smaller and you can make whatever shape you want!

Baby boy is fully crawling but for the longest time he would get into the crawling position, figure out how to move his legs but not his arms and ended up face planting. He tried so hard and everyone around him tried to help him and show him even Grandpa has got down on the ground and exaggerated crawling motions! Baby girl is army crawling and she's really good at it! She has no problem getting what she wants but most of the time she'll just roll around.

Baby girl also started clapping this month and we think she might be starting to sign milk to us!! We also think both babies are starting to wave bye and are starting to give high fives.

Since we live in Phoenix and temperatures are already in the triple digits, we took them into the pool for the first time and have also started swimming lessons. Baby girl took to it right away - she was falling/reaching into the water after toys (with Jon there to catch her of course) and splashing around. Baby boy was definitely not too fond of it at first but after about 5 minutes he loosened up and started having some fun reaching for toys and splashing. Our swim instructor is awesome and does an amazing job with getting the twins used to things!

Mother's day was amazing. Jon woke up with both babies and took them to the store while I got to sleep in. Then he planned a picnic, the whole family including Maggie walked to the park and had a nice picnic and some playtime. We also did a 5k with my mom and sister (who is also pregnant!!).

For Father's day the twins made Jon beer bottle labels for his homemade beer. If you don't know us well, my husband enjoy's home brewing and calls his home brewery "Family Man Brewing". I had each twin use their hand or footprint as the background for some labels for his newest batches. They turned out really cute - just wish I had better calligraphy skills. Sorry for the black sections - I had the kid's names on each one.















As for the case - we just had court and we will have the twins at least until the next court date which is early September. Not much has progressed or changed since the last date - the state is still working on family reunification.

Over 4th of July we are taking the twins camping for the first time - anyone have any advice on how to survive and have fun?!

MILESTONES:

• First time in the pool
• First Mother's day
• First Father's day
• Started swimming lessons
• First time playing in a box
• First hike
• Crawling (Baby boy)
• Army Crawling (Baby girl)
• Clapping (Baby girl)
• Fart noises with mouth (Baby boy) - hilarious!

One Step Forward

Last Thursday we found out we are finally getting a parent aide and will not longer have to work with the case aide. If you don't know why this is exciting refer back to my frustrations a couple months ago. Parent aides have a higher level of education than case aides and actually work with the birth parents on parenting skills. I'm just excited to have someone with education - hopefully she won't be biased towards the birth parents and won't ask ridiculously stupid questions.

For the first time since we've had the twins, both birth parents attended the 4 month doctor's appointment. Previously only birth mom had attended as birth dad has a job. This was also the first time I have been alone with the birth parents. I got to hear for 30 minutes how CPS stole their babies, they didn't do anything wrong, and now CPS is trying to make him lose his job so they can prove he doesn't deserve the kids back. I was extremely irritated because 1. I can't do anything to help them get their kids back so stop complaining to me and 2. I don't like liars and I'm pretty sure CPS doesn't just take kids for the hell of it. I will be requesting next time to have a nurse or doctor in the room at all times as I don't think that was fair to me.

The twins are healthy and happy. No concerns from the doctor, they are right on their growth charts in height and weight. It's always nice to hear that I'm doing a good job.

We took a resource parent tax training class and found out we can actually claim the twins on our taxes! I realize I'm an accountant but you should know that I am NOT a tax accountant. I can research topics but I really don't like to as tax code is very dry so it was nice to be able to take a class and know our rights as far as claiming them as dependents. 

Last week we had our first CFT (Child & Family Team) meeting. Typically birth parents, foster parents, foster children, CPS case worker, and the GAL (Children's lawyer) attend these meetings and everyone discusses how the child is doing and if anything needs to be changed. The idea is to get everyone on the same page. Want to know how ours went?

Birth mom brought up a concern that Jon and I are not communicating with her enough via e-mail or phone. She gets concerned if the babies are sick on Thursday at her visit and she can't see them again until Tuesday. The case worker agreed that we should try to have more contact with her via a new e-mail that's just for her to use to protect ourselves. I felt attacked. Honestly I don't have a lot of time to be e-mailing her all the time and when I do have time, it really isn't my top priority. In case she doesn't know - I work full time, so does Jon. When we come home we feed her babies, read to her babies, bathe them and put them to bed. Then at 8pm we decide to cook ourselves dinner, eat, and head to bed because we never know if we'll be up in the middle of the night taking care of her babies. When I have a free moment I'm typically paying bills, cleaning the house, or trying to get a quick minute of relaxation in. Apparently that's not acceptable so now we have to update her via e-mail. 

As much as I complain, they aren't the worst people in the world. Birth mom did offer to let us visit the kids after they are reunified to help with the transition. I hate talking about it but it is a possibility and as much as I hate to admit it, that really is a very nice gesture. Whether or not it is valid, it is an impressive thing to offer. 

This weekend we took the twins to a music and dancing program at the library which was lead by our good friend Jennifer. She is amazing and baby boy LOVED it. He is a music boy and Jon had a good time making driving noises with him. Baby girl also enjoyed it and had quite a bit of fun putting the music toys in her mouth (Sorry Jenn!). 

MILESTONES:

• Baby girl can roll over from her back to her stomach and does so very frequently!
• Baby boy has started pushing buttons on toys
• Baby girl really giggles if you find the right spot
• Baby boy sleeps through the night 90% of the time!
• Attended their first half marathon as spectators
• Jon dressed baby girl in matching colors to me and baby boy matched him - I really wish I could post pictures as they are adorable!
• Baby boy loves standing (with assistance of course)
• Baby girl got her first ultrasound (no issues)
• Baby girl got her first bandaid
• First juice: Pear juice!
• Both babies have started teething
• Graduated from the bathroom sink to the bathtub!

4 Months Old & Loving Life

Great news! We finally heard from our new case worker. We met him in person and he's been pretty responsive to my e-mails along with e-mails from counselors, our agency, etc. It's nice to know some CPS workers take their job seriously. However, the bad news is it appears we are sort of starting over with the case plan for birth parents. The birth parents stated the prior worker didn't explain what they were supposed to be doing so the new caseworker explained it and now we just wait and see what happens. I just don't understand how it wasn't documented that the case plan was discussed or that they had to sign something. Why do we just start over with a new worker? Anyway the next hearing is January 30th so hopefully I'll have a better update then.

This month hasn't been as difficult as others. I'm not sure why but the twins seem to be in a routine and everyday something new is developing. It's fun to see how they change and find new things interesting everyday. A new habit of baby girl's is to throw a little tantrum while being burped which is mildly irritating however during Christmas she'd stop crying when she saw the Christmas tree lights. Then she'd just sit there and stare in awe - it was amusing. Baby boy has really start laughing but only when you take or put on his clothes. It's such a cute little giggle that I just want to change his clothes all day long. He also seems to only want to perform for one parent at a time because if I'm changing him and he's giggling, Jon will come running from the other room to hear but if baby boy sees Jon, the laughing disappears. Such interesting little personalities are forming!

We attended our agency's holiday party which was really fun. They throw a big event with catered food, a DJ and dancing for the kids, hot chocolate bar, arts and crafts, Santa, and a present room where each foster child gets to pick a Christmas present. It was a lot of fun to see some of the people from our classes and see their children.

Our daycare is amazing. They gave the kids Christmas pajama's from Santa, books, clothes, stockings, and gave us ornaments from the kids. We were overwhelmed with the amount of gifts the babies received from everyone!

This month I also booked our tickets to Kansas for my cousin's wedding in March. I got approval from CPS to take them with us!! Booking a flight with a lap child and twins is very difficult! Then I started thinking about hotels and rental cars and car seats and cribs and all the items babies require! Basically airlines can't charge for car seats or strollers so we will probably check the car seats. I'm not sure if we are bringing the stroller or not yet. However, pack n play's cost the price of checked luggage which is quite expensive for twins. So I started calling around to hotels and some have cribs available but some only allow 1 crib per room. RIDICULOUS! Luckily my parents and sister are all going so I may have them reserve a crib to one of their rooms too. They don't come with sheets though so that's another thing I'll have to pack. Traveling with babies is very difficult! I'm excited to take a 4 generation picture with my grandma though!!

MILESTONES:

• First Christmas
• Baby girl can roll over from her stomach to her back
• Baby girl is pushing buttons on her mirror toy
• Baby boy is giggling when he's being changed
• Both babies are grasping toys
• First New Years (neither baby made it to midnight nor did Grandma!)

Baby Girl's first new years resolution is to stop throwing tantrum's while being burped and realize it's for her own good.

Baby Boy's first new years resolution is to start sleeping through the night!

Anyone have any advice on flying with a 6 month old?

First Time (Foster) Parents

I don't even know where to begin on this whirlwind of emotions in the last month. Going into the foster care process I knew it'd be emotional but I thought it'd be emotional only when the kids went home but I was wrong, very wrong. It's emotional the entire way through this very confusing and unorganized system so I guess I'll just start chronologically and see where the pen, or rather, keys take us.

Saturday, September 7th: The phone rings, its a number I didn't recognize, so I assume its a call from CPS about a possible placement, but we have received 3 calls before that didn't match our preference, so I wasn't getting my hopes up. The caller explained they were looking for a home for 2 day old twins, one boy and one girl. Jon didn't hear the phone call but was getting excited as he watched my face light up. We weren't originally planning on two newborns, but we figured that meant twice as much fun so we gladly accepted. I don't remember feeling nervous or scared or anything but excited when I was sitting in the NICU waiting for CPS. The NICU nurse found out we were first time foster parents AND first time parents so she gave us a baby 101 course. She went over temperatures, feedings, diaper changes, and umbilical cord care and then walked us downstairs, loaded the babies into the car with some minor complications and sent us on our way. Jon drove like an old man the whole way home - he was even driving UNDER the speed limit. I was highly entertained. By far the best part of the evening was telling the family and seeing or hearing everyone's reactions to not just one baby but TWO!

Week 1: I took the entire week off of work except forwarding e-mails as appropriate. Monday we had the twins first doctor's appointment. Both babies had jaundice but otherwise they are healthy babies. We were told to give them some sun time by the window each day to help with the jaundice. Wednesday morning I got a call from CPS telling me that the children would be going home today to Birth Dad. I was devastated and called Jon at work, he immediately came home. We didn't realize just how attached you could get in 4 days! Within an hour of the first call, we got a 2nd call from CPS saying nevermind, a mistake was made and they'd be staying with us if we wanted otherwise they'd find another foster home. Silly question - of course we'll keep them! Wednesday afternoon I went to WIC and signed up for formula assistance - I was very glad I did after that first trip to the store when I realized 1 week of formula is about $80 for the twins! During the days I spent time feeding the babies and sunbathing with the them in front of the window. The nurse also told us it was never too early to read, start tummy time, or sing to them so everyday I proceeded to have sing-a-long time with them and tummy time. Tummy time was also good for Maggie as she could sniff them. Baby boy seems to enjoy my singing a little more than his sister. Neither one does too much on tummy time yet. Thursday we had a follow up doctor's appointment and baby boy was cleared of his jaundice and his weight was above birth weight. Baby girl still had jaundice and wasn't gaining weight. We were having some issues getting her to eat a whole lot. We tried a new formula and a new type of nipple at the end of the week and she seems to be eating more.

Week 2: After a couple of days on the new formula, we noticed baby girl started having some constipation so we ended up at the doctor's on Monday morning. He suggested switching to another formula or trying Karo syrup. Baby girl's jaundice is finally down and she is above birth weight so both babies are cleared until their 1 month appointment! My mom stayed home this week so I could return to work. She added Karo syrup to baby girl's bottle a couple of times but it didn't help very much so we switched formulas again. Jon thinks they should sell a sample pack of all the different formulas so we don't have to buy a whole can just to realize they don't like a formula and need to try another one. The new formula seemed to fix things and baby boy had started to show problems so we switched him too. They are both eating well and seem to enjoy tummy time. My mom took them on daily walks with the dog and my sister! 

We are beginning to notice how much more they move their arms and legs on tummy time and we are excited that the nasty umbilical cords fell off and we can take real baths now! And by real baths - I mean the bathroom sink versus a sponge bath.

Week 3: The kids Guardian Ad Litem (their lawyer) called to see how things were going. This is how we found out that birth parents had court on Tuesday, the outcome being birth parents were given 2 supervised visits a week each (as they aren't together anymore) for a total of 4 visits a week. We were less than thrilled. The worst part is we learned this on Tuesday and immediately had their first visit on Wednesday, second and third on Thursday, and fourth on Friday. It's a lot of work to get the kids ready to go because we have to provide the formula, the bottles, the diapers, the wipes, etc. Our agency also told us to not send anything we cared about in case we didn't get it back, luckily that's not been an issue! We were also informed that the court has allowed the parents to attend medical visits. Super bummed! We didn't have any interest in meeting the birth parents and never realized it was possible that we wouldn't have a choice. We both met birth dad this week, he was nice to both of us and thanked us for taking good care of his kids. This was frustrating for me because I wanted to dislike him but on the surface he nice enough.

Week 4: The twins are becoming more active now and are up for a couple of hours at a time, day and night. Baby girl really enjoys tummy time while baby boy just enjoys looking around and playing with brightly colored rattles. I love holding them when they are awake because they seem to just look very deeply into your eyes - it's an unexplainable feeling, Jon says its like they are looking into our souls. This week we had our 1 month appointment and it was the first time Jon and I met birth mom. To me she seemed like a know-it-all but overall she was alright. The doctor told us what a great job we were doing with caring for the twins and that he doesn't have any concerns as they are growing as he would expect/hope.

The past month has been extremely busy but I can't imagine my life any other way. Sure, the nights are rough when a baby is crying and I realize I was just up an hour ago with the other one but when they open their eyes and interact with you, it makes all those long nights disappear. However, I don't think it makes all the diapers disappear, both Jon and I could do without those especially since we've both been peed on multiple times and Jon's even been pooped on!

I'm hoping to keep the blog updated more frequently now that we are on a "schedule". Feel free to ask questions and we'll answer as best we can but the majority of their situation is confidential. The twins are foster children and although we would love to adopt, right now the case plan is reunification with the birth parents.

We finally filled the shoes!

OFFICIALLY Certified Foster Parents

We PASSED! The state has looked into our home life, our dog, our finances, our upbringing, our marriage, our criminal history and found nothing too concerning. So it's official! We are finally licensed foster/adoption parents!!! The news came last Thursday, August 29th. 

On Friday morning I called our licensing agent and discussed preferences and placement lists. We decided to accept children ages 0-3 as long as one is under the age of 1. After numerous other questions, we also decided to be placed on the immediate placement list so literally a call could come at any time. That's exactly what our agency said to us and she wasn't lying.

Friday around 3pm, I received our first placement call. I knew it was a placement call before I answered the phone, I'm not sure why but I just knew. I'm glad I did because CPS does not do anything to help you determine if this is the child for your family or not. This is how the phone call went: 

     CPS: "Hi my name is ____ from Child Protective Services. I have a 1 year old boy that I was wondering if you could take."
     Tina: ............. (attempting to remember our classes and what they told us to ask)........"Ummm do you know why they are being removed from the home?"
     CPS: "Yes, ___________ on his younger, 5 month old brother; his 4 year old brother has already been placed"
     Tina: (Quickly doing the math on a 1 year old and a 5 month old....doesn't really add up) "Is he exactly 1 year old or is he younger or older? What ethnicity is he? Where is the 5 month old?" (I caught on quickly, CPS knows a lot but they try to tell you nothing)
     CPS: "He's a little over a year, he was born on March 8th"
     Tina: (Confused because I'm pretty sure that means he's almost 18 months which is very different than a 1 year old) "We are going to have to decline, he isn't within our preferences."
     CPS: "Okay, thank you for your time."

We had heard CPS was typically pushy and didn't like when you declined but this guy wasn't upset at all, he was very polite which is what I would hope. The excitement of Friday didn't end there. At 9pm that evening Jon received our 2nd placement call. It went very similar to the first except this CPS agent didn't have hardly any information. We also realized at this point that our preferences must not be in the system because we again turned the children down due to not meeting our preferences. Jon asked the CPS agent if our preferences were in there and she said no so she updated them. Since that call, we haven't heard anything. The excitement of the calls and being licensed have really made the next 2 days difficult because now we feel mentally ready but nothing has happened. Every time Jon's phone rings, we both get that little bolt of adrenaline/excitement. 

We will definitely update once we accept our first placement but until then I wanted to remind everyone of some rules we have to follow regarding confidentiality.

1. You won't see pictures on this blog, or on Facebook or Instagram, with any identifying details (i.e. no faces). Once we have adopted the children pictures are fair game!
2. This also means that you cannot take pictures of our children either. I know it'll be hard, but remember these are someone else's kid's until we adopt and we can't have pictures floating around due to confidentiality. Again, once the adoption is finalized, start snapping away!
3. Close family and friends will know the children and their names because they will be attending events with us, however please refrain from using their names in the online world due to confidentiality. 
4. Please do not ask us why the children came into our care. If it is necessary for you to know, you will know but otherwise just treat them like any other niece, nephew, grandchild, or kid.
5. We will be unable to post specifics about the case or court details. Major decisions can be posted in a general overview but all the details are kept confidential to protect the children. Details of their cases are their own to share, as they see fit (and when they can talk).

We look forward to sharing the next steps of our journey with everyone! Please keep us in your thoughts while we await our life changing phone call!

Medically Complex 1 of 3

Yesterday we attended our first of three Medically Complex classes. We covered how quickly we should have an EPST ( Early and Periodic Screening, Diagnostic and treatment) Exam after accepting a placement along with proper medication administration and the different medical resources available to us as foster parents.

Some of it covered the same topics as Medication Administration but a review can't hurt when it comes to medical assistance. Our teachers for this course are much better than the original PS MAPPS course. They are much better at keeping us involved. Such as training us on properly removing gloves. We had to wear gloves, have chocolate syrup poured on them, smear it around, then properly remove them without getting any chocolate syrup on ourselves or the desks! Another way they kept us involved was with proper medication administration. Each group received 3 "prescription" bottles and had to identify the thing that was wrong with the prescription. Sometimes there was a peanut allergy listed on the label and then there were peanut M&Ms as "pills" in the bottle or the expiration date had passed, etc.

We also got out of this class earlier than any of our other classes so all and in all it wasn't too bad. Keep posted for next week's update!

42 days or less until we are licensed!

The Countdown Begins

Just wanted to give a quick update, we had some set backs with our license application. Nothing major, just getting forms updated by doctors which can take awhile because doctors are so busy.

However, we are finally done with the paperwork and our license application has officially been submitted as of July 31st!

In 45-60 30-45 days we will officially be licensed foster/adoption parents!

Technically 59 44 days today...

Dr. Seuss Room

I'm amazed that in 2 short months we went from a guest room and office to full blown children's room and office/guest room. After we picked the theme (Dr. Seuss in case you missed the last few posts), it came down to selecting colors. We already knew we wanted to do a grass/sky scene so we had something to stick the decals on. Check out the decals here: Dr. Seuss decals! Then we went paint shopping!

And started painting the sky....

Well first comes the typical name painting on the walls - no room is complete without a Lyons stamp! "Baby" is a custom made blue to match the colors in the Dr. Seuss decals. "Lyons" is a traditional light blue. It took awhile to choose as the Dr. Seuss blue was very vibrant and fun but in the end we decided on a more sky blue color. 

The room sat with just the sky blue and green, grassy hills for weeks while Jon pulled off the pale yellow base boards and nailed on new, fancy white base boards. For those that don't know, our house was flipped and the paint job was awful! They painted EVERYTHING this disgusting pale yellow color. By everything, I mean base boards, window trim, air vents, closets....literally everything! As we update rooms, we are slowly fixing their laziness.

After the adoption shower, it was finally time to start putting the room together. Jon put together the crib and toddler bed with Maggie's help of course. 

I worked on putting the books on the bookshelf, taking apart the diaper cakes, putting diapers away, putting sheets on mattresses, organizing toys, etc. Look how tiny little kid clothes are!

Yesterday we got to put the finishing touches on the room. Dr. Seuss decals went up, truffula trees went up and picture frames went up. We can now say we are officially ready for our children!!

Interesting fact: The dresser in this picture is the dresser my parents used to change me!

The curtains in this picture were made by my mom. They have little truffula trees on them.
The pink, yellow, & blue truffula trees in the corner are from our adoption shower!

What do you think of our future children's room?

Medication Administration

Last night was our last class for this PS MAPP section. (We still have Medically Fragile in August but that won't hold up our licensure as that is a licensing agency requirement verses a state requirement.)

The topic last night was Medication Administration and was the only class that had a test. We were given the test at the beginning of class and told that it would mirror the powerpoint. Sadly, I still saw people leaning over and copying from their neighbor. If you can't answer some simple true/false and fill in the blank questions that are almost verbatim off a PowerPoint then I don't think you should be parenting. Luckily for them, I don't make the requirements otherwise I would have failed some people.

Most of what we covered is pretty basic stuff. Wash your hands before administering, explain what you are doing, check the labels, make sure there are no funny pills mixed in with the regular, you know, the norm. Then we started walking through the documentation required. If you know me, you know I am OCD about being organized but even I am overwhelmed by the amount of paperwork we'll be completing. If you're curious on how many forms I get to keep track of here's the  DES foster parent forms website. Although the only form that appears to be missing is the medication one.

For med's alone, I have to document every single time I or someone else give the child any meds including over the counter (cough medicines, ointments, aspirin, tums, etc). According to our instructor this apparently includes sunscreen. Last time I checked, sunscreen wasn't considered a medicine but what do I know? Don't mind me if you see me with a child and my head in a tablet, I'm probably documenting that we just put some aloe on the child because we forgot to use sunscreen because I didn't have time to document it so now we have a burnt child. That's another thing, most of these forms have to be signed so we are not sure if they can be done electronically. We are going to look into it and then I'll just carry a tablet around instead of a binder full of silly paperwork. Someone needs to tell DES to get with the 21st Century!






Needless to say, Jon and I passed our exams and received our certificates for both PS MAPP's and Med Admin. Look how pretty they are! We worked so hard for these! 

For all our loyal blog readers, you get a sneak peek at a little project Jon and I have been keeping secret. We've been looking for a way to make the foster/adoption announcement public (right now it's mostly close friends and family) and we thought, why not do a foster/adoption photo shoot? So we did and we just got the pictures back. Here's a sneak peek of our soon to be official announcement:

We are excited to share all the photos very soon...

I'm not sure how often our updates will come now that our main classes are completed but I will still try to do things every couple of weeks so no one gets bored :)

Parenting Preparations

Our families are throwing us a foster care / adoption shower on June 29th and my sister has been bugging us to get registered so she can send out the invitations. The invitations are extremely adorable, what do you think? 

We think she did an AWESOME job - Thanks Lisa! 

I don't know how first time parents figure out what they need and what they don't need. There are SO many things at baby stores and 50 different types of every item. Do you want a big bottle or a little bottle, a slow flow bottle or a fast flow, a jogging stroller or a regular stroller and then do you want a single or a double? Baby stores are very overwhelming for first time parents if you ask me. We did manage to have a little fun and not just get stressed out. Jon had a lot of input on the diaper bag as he didn't want to be carrying a pink purse, what do you think of our selections?

My biggest concern is the stroller. I refuse to own 3 strollers. Everyone suggests a regular stroller and an umbrella stroller since they are so compact however I'm concerned I'll also need a jogging stroller. We are trying to find a stroller that can be used everyday and I can take jogging. I spent a good 30-45 minutes at each store testing strollers, running down aisles with them and testing their turning radius. Don't think that I was the only one having fun though, Jon was making sure they could do some wheelies! Does anyone have some good advice on strollers?

 

 

This week we also had our CPR/First Aid Certification course. Neither Jon nor myself have ever taken a class like this and we heard from other people in our regular class that it is quite boring so we were less than thrilled. Luckily we had an excellent teacher named Nick from Heart Savers who was extremely interesting! After about a 30 minute run through of CPR we got to practice on Bob (Adult mannequin) and Stewie (Baby mannequin). Here's me saving Bob's life :)

After our break we completed the First Aid certification. We also found this class very interesting and practical. We learned what to do for internal bleeding, asthma attacks, allergic reactions, seizures, strokes, scrapes and cuts, eye injuries, nose bleeds (interestingly enough you actually don't put your head back and pinch your nose like we were all taught), tooth injuries, burns, poisoning, and bites and stings. We now have a handy book with phone numbers and quick reference for all the different situations. I'm very happy we had to take this course.

Any advice for first time parents from all our experienced friends and family?

Steven Part 2

Envelope #2: Second day after placement

During the comprehensive developmental exam, the doctor has concerns about Steven's developmental delays and recommends that he be evaluated for services through the Arizona Early Intervention Program. The pediatrician also wants Steven to have an extensive eye examination by a Pediatric Ophthalmologist and would like the exam completed this week.

At 5:00pm today, you have the introductory meeting with Sara Smith (Steven's mom). During the meeting you each share information and learn about each other. It is apparent that Sara is angry at CPS and desperately wants to have her child returned to her care. Sara is courteous with you because you are caring for her son although she seems scared of your motives and fears she will never get her son back. She did provide you with an abundance of information so you can care for her child as she would. The first parental visit is set for tomorrow at 5:00pm.

1. How do you feel after meeting Sara?
• Surprisingly positive because she is working with us, sharing information, and doing what's best for Steven.
2. What are the benefits of this type of meeting when a child is first placed in your home?
3. How do you prepare Steven for his parental visit?
4. Who is responsible for transporting Steven to the visit?
• CPS and the foster parents but primarily the foster parents.

Envelope #3: Third day after placement

The CPS Case Manager reports all went well with Steven's visit with mom. He was so excited to see her that he clung to her leg when informed that mom needed to leave. Mom bought him a new teddy bear to sleep with and a new blanket to carry around that he brought to your home when he returned from the visit.

While the case manager is there she asks to see your home. You give her a tour. In Steven's bedroom she checks on his bedding and opens the closet and dresser drawers. Then in the kitchen she opens the cupboards and checks the refrigerator.

Once the case manager left your home, Steven begins to act our. He is screaming, crying and running around having a tantrum. He continues to be inconsolable after using every technique you know.

Steven, in anger and frustration, grabs something very special to you. The piece has great sentimental value and is irreplaceable. It falls to the floor and breaks.

After Steven has cried himself to exhaustion, you tuck him into bed for the evening. You finally can take a breath.

1. What is your immediate reaction to the loss of this item?
• Anger. I would need to take a deep breath before I react.
2. How do you handle Steven's behavior?
• Timeout for 2 minutes in order to help him calm down. Talk to him about what happened at his visit and why he is feeling the way he is. Explain to him that is behavior is unacceptable.
3. How do you feel about this outburst?
4. If it continues how will you deal with such incidents in the future?
5. What do you think of the actions of the CPS Case Manager while in your home?
• Intrusive and frustrating but at the same time we understand that it's in the best interest of the children.

Envelope #4: Ninety days after placement

This evening while you are fixing dinner one of your children and a friend are playing their favorite video game in the next groom. Steven enters the room where the children are playing and says, "mine...froggy game...now". Your child pauses the game and tells Steven that as soon as they are done with this game, he will put on the froggy game and play with him. Steven does not want to wait and goes over to the game system and pulls it onto the floor, it is attached to the tv and the tv falls to the floor. The TV has hit Steven in the head and he is now bleeding. Steven is crying and still yelling that he wants to play the game.

After you remove Steven from the area and attend to his wounds you believe that he needs stitches.

1. Where do you go to seek medical attention?
• If only stitches are required, we can only go to an urgent care.
2. Who do you notify and how do you document it?
• CPS must be notified within 2 hours. We will have to file a significant incident report.
3. What are you going to do about Steven's actions?
• No TV & video games. Explain the reason these items are being taken away and begin working on his patience and sharing.
4. What assistance might you have with the property damage?
• We can file a claim with the Provider Indemnity Program. 
5. How do you feel right now about your decision to bring Steven into your home?

Envelope #5: Six months after placement

This morning you take Steven to Target to get some more clothes. Once inside, Steven yells his mom's name and runs to his mother. He is not going to leave her side.

Later in the day, Steven is quietly playing with building blocks on the living room floor. You step away to use the restroom. When you re-enter the living room, Steven is no where in sight and the front door is open. You rush outside and yell his name; frantically you search everywhere for him. You are unable to find him.

Thankfully, Steven was found by the police. He had run after a dog that was in the front yard. The police found him six blocks away from your home.

1. How do you handle the situation in Target?
• Say hi, talk for a few minutes. Explain to Steven that we only have a few minutes but he'll see his mom again on the specific date of the next visit.
2. How do you feel about the situation in Target?
• Awkward and uncomfortable
3. What reports do you need to file after the runaway incident?

Congratulations, you have just completed a simulation of your life with a foster child in your home!

1. How do you feel?
2. What type of impact has this experience had on you and your family?
3. Did anything have to change with Steven entering your family?
• Yes, work schedules, patience level had to increase, our roles within the house changed

Meet Steven

You receive a phone call from your licensing agency at 3:00 am stating the following: 

• Steven is 2 and a half years old and was removed during a police raid of the home, Methamphetamine's were found to be cooking in the trunk of the family's only vehicle. Mom, Sara Smith, had called the police to inform them of the operation. Mom stated she was in fear for her life and that of her child because the boyfriend beats them both. The police were able to confirm signs of domestic violence. The boyfriend was arrested for the manufacturing of meth and possession with intent to sell. Mom was released and placed in a shelter. Steven was placed in the care of CPS until his safety in the care of his mother could be assessed. CPS is concerned that Steven's mom stayed in the home after she knew about the meth operation. There were additional concerns as to whether or not she would bail out her boyfriend.
• The police warrant was served at 11:00 pm and Steven was sleeping in the home when the police arrived. Steven underwent all the necessary precautions to safety remove him since he was believed to have been exposed to toxic, active chemical agents. He was then taken to Hope Hospital for an intital medical examination and toxicology testing. His clothing was taken due to a chemical smell and he was given a shower to remove any trace chemicals. Steven was released with instructions that he was to have a comprehensive medical examination from a pediatrician within the next two days.
• Steven is an only child.
• Mom reports she is unsure of whom the child's father is, she has no family living in the state and has no friends, neighbors, or co-workers who can care for Steven.
• Three months ago, Mom relocated to the area with her boyfriend of one year. They had been living 250 miles away in another part of Arizona.
• Mom reports that Steven has no known medical issues. He is a loving and obedient child who is very attached to her. No other information was able to be gathered since the Mom was ushered away to the hospital for an evaluation and then taken to a shelter.
• The child has only the clothes on his back due to the possibility of chemical contamination from the meth production. The clothes were provided by CPS.

Even though there is very little information known about this child, you and your family decide you are willing to make a commitment to this child and to provide a stable and nurturing home while he is out-of-home foster care. Steven arrives at your home at 5:00 am.

1. What do you need for Steven?
2. You need to schedule Steven's medical exam. What proof of insurance do you have?
3. Who will take Steven to the medical examination?
4. Who can sign the forms?
• We can for the initial exam and routine care.
5. How do you get the examination paid for?
• We sign them "Tina Lyons for DES/CMDP" in order to not be liable for payment.
6. What do you want to learn from Steven's mom at the ice breaker meeting?
7. How are you feeling about this day?
• Nervous, excited, scared, sympathetic & sad for Steven, overwhelmed

Get a good night's sleep and get ready for tomorrow's envelope!