PS MAPP 7 & 8 & Home Safety Inspection

Again we are playing catch up - we were out of town for Memorial Day, preparing for our home safety inspection, and working long hours. If we think we are busy now, I can only imagine how crazy life will be once we have 1 or 2 little ones to keep track of also. Google calendar is going to be an essential in the Lyons household.

PS MAPP 7: Helping Children Leave Foster Care

This class was about disruptions, dissolution, and transitioning the child from foster care. The main goal of foster care is reunification with the birth parents so we discussed how to help the child have a successful transition through communication, thoroughly explaining things to the child, helping the child prepare, updating the child's Life Book, and honoring and celebrating going home.

The most interesting discussions of this class related to disruptions and dissolutions and how to identify the signs of a disruptions in order to fix it and move forward.

Disruption: an unplanned move from one foster or adoptive home to another out-of-home situation

Dissolution: the legal act of ending an adoption, much like a divorce in marriage (Yes, this does happen and yes, we were flabbergasted that this was even an option!)

 The stages of disruption are very similar to the stages that lead to a divorce:

1. Diminishing Pleasure: In the early months when the negatives beginning outweighing the positives

2. Child is seen as blame for all

3. Talking to friends and family begins increasing the bad feelings

4. A critical incident occurs that is almost the last straw

5. A timeframe is set for improvement or a threat is given "One more time..."

6. The child fails to meet the deadline or ultimatum and the parents decide to disrupt


PS MAPP 8: Understanding the Impact of Fostering or Adopting

Confidentiality was the big topic of this class. Information about the child should only be given on a "need to know" basis. This is going to be a difficult thing to understand as we will not be able to discuss the reason the child is in foster care with us unless it is pertinent to the situation. We are not even allowed to share the child's first name when discussing the child's behavior in a foster parent support group, however if the child wants to participate in Little League, we are allowed to share the child's name as the Little League team has a "need to know" in order for the child to participate.

We also created a family map that allowed us to see what activities we get energy from and what activities we give energy to. After we created it we had to pick a child scenario and adjust our family map accordingly to include the child in our family. The goal was to identify our strengths and identify what child would best fit into our world.

The last thing we discussed was what to do in the first 24 hours with the child.

Home Safety Inspection

Our home safety inspection was Wednesday, May 29th at 2pm. Jon was off work in time to get home and I was able to take my lunch break a little later in the day. The inspector was right on time and started in the kitchen. He went straight down the list - see page 15 of the DES Checklist. We had a minor hiccup with the fridge temperature due to Jon making some adjustments but the inspector let us turn the gauge down and he re-checked it at the end of the visit and we were in compliance! He basically walked throughout our entire house opening all cabinets and drawers and asking us where different hazardous items were stored. All smoke detectors were checked to make sure they were in working condition. My favorite part of the inspection was the emergency evacuation plan. Apparently most people fail the whole inspection because they can't follow these simple instructions:

1. Identify 2 routes to evacuate from bedrooms used in care
2. Identify the location of fire extinguishers
3. Designate a safe meeting place outside the setting
4. Maintain the plan on the setting

If you know me, you know my love for Excel. I looked at the example and realized I could use excel and got right to work. Here's my finished product:

At the end of the day we got the golden stamp of approval! We are now certified by the state of Arizona as living in a house that is safe for children!

PS MAPP 6: Identity & Culture

Forgive us for getting a little behind on the blog updates. We spent most of last week in Chicago celebrating the wedding of Jon's cousin and I got to meet most of the family! 

Last week's class was about identity and culture.

What is identity, culture, race, and connections? 

Identity is who you are based on characteristics such as race, ethinic background, religion, primary roles and responsibilities, and gender. 

Culture is the integrated pattern of human behavior that includes thought, speech and actions; the customary beliefs,  social forms and material traits of a racial, religious or social group or class as seen through an individual's perceptual lens.

Here is a good visual of identity, culture, race, etc:

As foster parents we will be responsible for helping the child connect with their culture. Makes sense, right? The goal of foster care is reunification so maintaining culture is obvious. I didn't realize how important it is for an adopted child as well but it is equally as important. There is truth to the quote "you don't know where you are going if you don't know where you're from." How do we help the child connect to their culture? It could be as simple as music, clothing, a museum, or celebrating a certain holiday. 

Overall an interesting class, definitely better than the first few classes. It seems the main thing to do is just to try to incorporate a little piece of their past into their life going forward.

At the end of each class we are assigned homework. Typically it's fairly easy questions to get conversation flowing in the household about the new adventure, however this week we were assigned to write a letter to birth parents. This letter will be in our Family Profile and may be shown to actual birth parents. How do you write a letter to someone to explain to them who you are and why you are qualified to foster or adopt their child? 

You'd think we'd be set with just one hard assignment this week but we also received our appointment for our home safety inspection. It's on the 29th which is about a week away. As you can see on our checklist we definitely have some things to get accomplished this week!

Home Preparations & PS MAPP Class 4

     This past Saturday we began home preparations. The current guest room is going to be the new kid's room and the office is going to be converted into an office/guest bedroom. Jon and I spent a couple hours going through the closets and getting rid of stuff including Jon's wine barrel desk which he loved but truly hardly used; his brother Kris was more than happy to accept the wine barrel's as a birthday present. The old office is now a guest bedroom and my office when no one is staying with us. The children's bedroom is awaiting a new paint job; Jon and I have decided on Dr. Seuss Blue!  Jon came up with an awesome idea for the big piece of wood from his old desk: he is going to make a children's table shaped like the hat from cat in the hat! I'm sure this means more tools are going into next month's budget!

       We've also started preparing for our home inspection by adding a lock to the coat closet door. This is going to hold our bleach, spray paints, and roach spray and perhaps our alcohol if that's required. We still need to figure out what to do with our prescription and over the counter drugs as they have to be kept locked at all times. Suggestions are welcome. We don't have a medicine cabinet in our bathroom so that idea is out. Take a look at our Home Safety Inspection Checklist page to keep tabs on how our home preparations are coming!

      This past Tuesday we had our fourth PS MAPP class. Overall this one was much more interesting. The discussion of the night was attachment and different ways to help the children attach to you. I think the main thing I took away from this class is all kids need certain things in order to attach and form a relationship. It's just going to be a little hard at first since the children have been removed from everything they know. They are going to be scared, sad, and confused when they come to our house but through consistency and support, attachment can happen.

We are looking forward to some more home preparations this weekend, stay tuned!