Time to Catch Up!

3/19/13: Meet with Agency Intake Specialist

Met with Agency Intake Specialist to discuss the paperwork we need to bring to our first PS MAPP class. She also went over some basic questions about me and Jon like our age, birth dates, criminal history, home size, etc. We were also able to ask questions so one of the first we asked as I'm' sure you are wondering too was "How soon would we be licensed and have a child in our home?" Her answer: As soon as June. Yes, it took me a few minutes to comprehend but it is possible we will have a child or children before the end of the year! She finished up with a very quick tour of our house and that was it. It was a quick 30-minute meeting for us to meet our intake specialist face to face.

4/02/13: Paperwork night at AZ Children’s Association

                We had to bring all those important life documents: passports, driver’s license, marriage license, 1 month of paystubs, dog rabies certificate, dog county license, car insurance, etc. In addition we had to create a fire evacuation plan for our house with 2 exits from each room. At this meeting they finger printed us and we signed numerous documents stating everything from self-disclosure of our criminal history to understanding our responsibilities as foster parents.

04/09/13: First PS MAPP class

PS MAPP is Partnering for Safety and Permanence-Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting. This class was extremely dry and covered instructor introductions, PS MAPP objectives, definitions, and laws of foster care/adoption. We were ecstatic when this class was finally over, 3 hours of “legal” verbiage is not my idea of a fun Tuesday night.

04/09/13: Second PS MAPP class

We covered Erikson’s Developmental Stages along with how to identify strengths and needs of an individual. They are very adamant about not having a weakness, instead you have a need. Weakness implies something that cannot be fixed whereas a need is something that can be worked on and improved. After every class we get “Roadwork” which really means homework and we have to complete our strengths and needs that we identified from that class. This is definitely not something Jon and I enjoy but it normally gets some conversation going. This class was again very dry and difficult to stay awake for 3 hours. We are starting to notice how frustrating the class is and worrying about how we plan to make it through the next 8 classes!

04/20/13: First Baby Shopping Trip

                Jon and I decided to go shopping for some baby items in order to get a better feel of prices and what’s even out there or available. We went to Ikea and were disappointed in the minimal selections. There were only 3 cribs and 2 of them looked pretty flimsy. The 3^rd was alright, the main thing was the prices looked good. We were also looking for ideas for a theme for the baby’s room but Ikea left us with nothing.

                Babies R Us was another world! We definitely got somewhere with the car seats and stroller options and have a pretty good idea what we’ll be getting. We want something practical but also something I can take running, yes I still plan to have time for that after kids! At least then I'll have an excuse for how slow I am! Looking at the furniture at Babies R Us was completely overwhelming, it is all so expensive! They also left us with nothing as far as a theme. Overall it was a successful trip since we were just trying to get our feet wet.

                Later that day we did some internet searching for baby room theme’s and finally we found one that we love! Dr. Seuss! Who doesn’t love silly rhymes?! Seemed goofy and perfect for our children! Right then and there we ordered large Dr. Seuss characters for the walls! These ones in particular:

                 In the afternoon we randomly stopped at a garage sale and checked out a crib. Decided against it but I was browsing the books because I love to read and found a Dr. Seuss Book “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish”. It was in pretty good condition except a few smudges on the outside cover. It was only 50 cents so we bought it! I cleaned it at home and it looks almost brand new – lucky find. First item for the child’s room and it was less than a dollar - so far success! I then proceeded to read the entire book to Jon with voice changes and everything! While reading the book we found a quote we love that will probably find it's way to the baby's room:

The excitement of being parents is definitely starting to grow!

04/23/13: Third PS MAPP class

                This class was a little more interesting than the previous two. Instead of just identifying what stage of life a child from a specific scenario is in or identifying a child’s strengths and needs; we actually discussed how we would relate to the child from our own personal experiences. However, Jon and I realized we have led very blessed lives and cannot easily relate to a physically and/or sexually abused child or a neglected child who has been ripped from their home (Thanks a lot parents!).

                To help everyone understand the types of things that are discussed in class, let me give you an example. This class we discussed maturational and situational losses. A maturational loss is a loss you expect to occur during the normal course of life. Here were the class examples of a maturational loss:

               

Event	Loss	Gain
Birth	Security of the womb	Life
Walking	Free ride	Independence
Talking	Whining	Communication
Toilet Trained	Freedom	Caring for self
Starting School	Constant comfort	Friends/knowledge
Becoming a teenager	Innocence	Independance/young adult status
Leaving home as a young adult	Family support financial & emotional	Responsibility
Marriage/Coupling	Independence	Partner
Children	Free time, money	Family
Middle Age	Youth, physical looks	Experience/Wisdom
Retirement	Job/career	Free time
Old Age	Health, spouse	Respect

Please re-read the toilet trained event loss. Yes, our class identified the toilet training loss as losing the freedom of being able to go to the bathroom whenever you please. Really? That’s a loss? How about the loss of a diaper and the messy, insanitation that goes along with that? During this class, it took a lot for Jon and I not to take pictures to share with the world. It's slightly scary that these answers are coming from future parents.

                 In case you were wondering, a situational loss is something that occurs due to an unexpected or unplanned event. Foster kids will all have this because they have lost their family, friends, their stability, and possibly loss of innocence, etc.

                 This class was more intriguing but still left an uncomfortable feeling in us. Our teachers will tell stories but they focus a lot on how difficult this path will be instead of balancing it with the positives like the joy that children bring. One statement in particular was difficult to understand. One of the instructor’s stated that a child will attach to the foster family but they will never truly bond with them. I don’t understand this. If that’s true then why does anyone ever foster or adopt? Don’t humans desire a bond with other people? Just because it isn’t biological doesn’t mean you can’t bond with someone. I bond with my friends and I’ve definitely bonded with my husband and none of them are blood. Comments like that really discourage me but we are hoping to get together with some friends that have adopted four children to get their take on this class and see if they can help us work through our frustrations.

Has anyone had a positive, personal experience with adoption?