Stranger Danger

Birth mom has not had a visit with her kids since October. On Friday I had a missed call at 5:15pm from our new case worker. I have never met her and my first call from her states the kids are having a visit on Monday from 1-3pm. Her case aide will pick the children up and supervise the visit. 

You'd think I'd be used to this by now and be over it but I'm not. Don't you think you'd want to talk to the foster parents first before just setting up a visit? You are new on the case and have no idea what is going on, such as the kids nap at daycare from 12-2. So they are going to get picked up at 12:30ish, go on a visit for 2 hours, come back to daycare and not get a nap. Thank you CPS for making my daycare frustrated and angry. Thank you CPS for ruining any sort of schedule my kids had - any study you read says kids need structure in order to grow up healthy and happy. In fact, my foster parent training and guides provided by the state talk about providing structure in your foster home. Thank you CPS for most likely testing my patience tonight with my kids as they will be extremely tired and cranky and won't want to eat dinner and won't want to take baths because they are too tired to function. I'm already angry with all of that but I think I've kept my composure all weekend in order to continue providing that happy, healthy home to these beautiful children and then on Monday at 12:30pm I get a phone call from the case aide.

"Hi, my name is ___ and I'm picking up your foster kids today, can you tell me their names?" With all my heart I wanted to say yes, their names are Jane and John Doe because that's what that question deserves as an answer. She then continued with "Okay, thanks I think that's all I need" I responded stating she can just go into the Toddler Room and sign them out, the daycare girls are aware the kids have a visit today. She responds with "Toddler room? How old are the kids?" Again, I wanted to say oh they are 8 and 9.....they are in the TODDLER ROOM so somewhere between 1 and 3. How in your right mind is it your job to pick up a child, supervise the visit, and then return the child? You don't even know the child's name or their age? Do you have the appropriate carseat? Do you know they are twins so you actually need 2 carseats of the same kind? How as a parent am I supposed to feel comfortable with this woman going to my daycare, picking up my children, and supervising a visit when she can't even figure out their names.

As my kids are getting older, we are learning more and more about parenting and I'm starting to think about how baby girl says "hi" and waves to just about everyone she see's and meets. Very cute but at the same time, a little worrisome. In my head I start thinking about teaching her about strangers and how she is to never go anywhere with a stranger but then I remember that about every 6 months a new CPS stranger picks her up to take her to her visits. How am I supposed to explain that one? "Okay baby girl, you are never to go anywhere with a stranger because they might be dangerous. However, if a stranger comes to daycare to get you, that's okay, just ask for their CPS badge to make sure they are legit." Please tell me how to explain this situation to a toddler. Please tell me how to properly parent as a foster mom. 

I really need to find a foster to adopt parent support group so I can see how other foster mom's have dealt with all of this. Each day seems to be getting more and more difficult for us to handle as we realize we still have such a long journey that still could end childless. The kids are bonding more and more to us and our family everyday, I just don't know how to explain this to them so they are prepared in case they are sent somewhere else. How do you prepare a toddler for that? Where is their lawyer? Isn't she supposed to be fighting for them? For their stability? For their happiness?

I am ready to fight the system but I am not sure where to start. If anyone has any ideas or any contacts, please let me know. The Arizona CPS system is very messed up right now and it needs to change.

UPDATE (2/10/15):
When I picked up the kids from daycare yesterday evening I was told by the daycare that the case aide showed up without car seats. My daycare obviously did not let her take the kids so she left and returned with 2 car seats.....uninstalled. She did not know how to install the car seats in her vehicle and requested the daycare to assist her. They did, then she requested they assist her with properly securing the children in the car seats. I was livid to say the least when I was told this story. It is absolutely unacceptable for a Department of CHILD SAFETY employee whom transports children to not know how to install a car seat in her vehicle. I have already sent an e-mail complaint to my case manager along with her supervisor. I have also already obtained a formal grievance and plan to have one filed by the end of the day. I will also be taking a form to my daycare and requesting they file a grievance as well. I do not take my children's safety lightly and I wouldn't think the state would either. I let my agency know the situation and she agreed with how I was handling it but also stated this isn't the first time this has happened to her foster families. That just further made me want to fight the system - something is severely wrong in Arizona's foster care system.