We made it to the 2nd Month!

Things in the Lyons household have been just as busy and crazy as ever in the last month!

The big news of the last month is that I attended the parents court hearing where they were contesting if CPS had probable cause to take their kids or not. We don't have to attend court but it is open to the foster parents. We learned in PS MAPPS (Yes - some things have proven to be beneficial!) that the best way to get information on your case is to go to court. If it was determined that CPS didn't have probable cause the kids would go home the very same day which also happened to be the day before they could start daycare. I am glad I went because I learned tons of information on this case! Needless to say, we still have the twins. It was determined that CPS did have probable cause but perhaps CPS didn't try hard enough to place the twins with relatives. So for the past month we've just been waiting as it's possible they could be placed with grandparents, siblings, etc. at anytime.

The second biggest news of the past month is the excitement of starting daycare! We no longer have to depend on family to help us every single day. (A HUGE thank you to all those that helped us survive the first 5 weeks AND more or less still let us make it to work) Within about 9 days of starting daycare baby boy caught a cold. Of course he caught it while Jon and I were on our first getaway and we had family watching them (Thanks Lisa, Ryan, & Kris).

We have also been to the doctor twice in the last month. The first time was for baby girl as she had been throwing her food up for a day and had a bad diaper rash. We also took her because we got a note from birth mom telling us how bad the diaper rash was and that we should be using diaper rash cream (we had been) and that birth mom was very concerned about baby girl. The doctor determined it was just a GI bug and as long as she was staying hydrated, he wasn't too concerned. The second visit was due to another note from birth mom along with a call from the CPS case aide telling us that baby boy was fighting to breath and I needed to take him to the doctor right away. I won't get into how angry I was at this phone call but basically my thought was if he's fighting to breath then maybe you should take him to the ER because by the time I get an appointment, he'll be dead. Needless to say, I'm a rule follower and I took baby boy to the doctor that same day. Birth mom never showed even though she had the same amount of notice I did. The doctor confirmed baby boy had a head cold and there wasn't much we could do for him as long as he was still eating.

MILESTONES:

• The very exciting milestone of this month is we are getting smiles from both babies and not just gas smiles, real smiles in response to our smiles! 
• They are both able to hold their heads on their own now (most of the time)
• Baby girl likes when Jon plays with her bottom lip
• We've also hit some milestones with Miss Maggie as she has started giving the babies lot's of kisses. Baby girl has decided she likes Miss Maggie's kisses and proceeds to open her mouth for some french kisses! Baby boy does not like Miss Maggie's kisses and turns his head away which only makes Maggie try harder!
• First 5k
• First time at the zoo
• First sleepover at Grandma Shantz's house
• First Halloween

For their first Halloween we dressed them up as Thing 1 and Thing 2 as would only be appropriate given our baby room theme and the fact that we have twins. Sorry I can't share all the adorable pictures but here's what their outfits looked like!

Month 2 is behind us....let's see what month 3 has in store for us!

First Time (Foster) Parents

I don't even know where to begin on this whirlwind of emotions in the last month. Going into the foster care process I knew it'd be emotional but I thought it'd be emotional only when the kids went home but I was wrong, very wrong. It's emotional the entire way through this very confusing and unorganized system so I guess I'll just start chronologically and see where the pen, or rather, keys take us.

Saturday, September 7th: The phone rings, its a number I didn't recognize, so I assume its a call from CPS about a possible placement, but we have received 3 calls before that didn't match our preference, so I wasn't getting my hopes up. The caller explained they were looking for a home for 2 day old twins, one boy and one girl. Jon didn't hear the phone call but was getting excited as he watched my face light up. We weren't originally planning on two newborns, but we figured that meant twice as much fun so we gladly accepted. I don't remember feeling nervous or scared or anything but excited when I was sitting in the NICU waiting for CPS. The NICU nurse found out we were first time foster parents AND first time parents so she gave us a baby 101 course. She went over temperatures, feedings, diaper changes, and umbilical cord care and then walked us downstairs, loaded the babies into the car with some minor complications and sent us on our way. Jon drove like an old man the whole way home - he was even driving UNDER the speed limit. I was highly entertained. By far the best part of the evening was telling the family and seeing or hearing everyone's reactions to not just one baby but TWO!

Week 1: I took the entire week off of work except forwarding e-mails as appropriate. Monday we had the twins first doctor's appointment. Both babies had jaundice but otherwise they are healthy babies. We were told to give them some sun time by the window each day to help with the jaundice. Wednesday morning I got a call from CPS telling me that the children would be going home today to Birth Dad. I was devastated and called Jon at work, he immediately came home. We didn't realize just how attached you could get in 4 days! Within an hour of the first call, we got a 2nd call from CPS saying nevermind, a mistake was made and they'd be staying with us if we wanted otherwise they'd find another foster home. Silly question - of course we'll keep them! Wednesday afternoon I went to WIC and signed up for formula assistance - I was very glad I did after that first trip to the store when I realized 1 week of formula is about $80 for the twins! During the days I spent time feeding the babies and sunbathing with the them in front of the window. The nurse also told us it was never too early to read, start tummy time, or sing to them so everyday I proceeded to have sing-a-long time with them and tummy time. Tummy time was also good for Maggie as she could sniff them. Baby boy seems to enjoy my singing a little more than his sister. Neither one does too much on tummy time yet. Thursday we had a follow up doctor's appointment and baby boy was cleared of his jaundice and his weight was above birth weight. Baby girl still had jaundice and wasn't gaining weight. We were having some issues getting her to eat a whole lot. We tried a new formula and a new type of nipple at the end of the week and she seems to be eating more.

Week 2: After a couple of days on the new formula, we noticed baby girl started having some constipation so we ended up at the doctor's on Monday morning. He suggested switching to another formula or trying Karo syrup. Baby girl's jaundice is finally down and she is above birth weight so both babies are cleared until their 1 month appointment! My mom stayed home this week so I could return to work. She added Karo syrup to baby girl's bottle a couple of times but it didn't help very much so we switched formulas again. Jon thinks they should sell a sample pack of all the different formulas so we don't have to buy a whole can just to realize they don't like a formula and need to try another one. The new formula seemed to fix things and baby boy had started to show problems so we switched him too. They are both eating well and seem to enjoy tummy time. My mom took them on daily walks with the dog and my sister! 

We are beginning to notice how much more they move their arms and legs on tummy time and we are excited that the nasty umbilical cords fell off and we can take real baths now! And by real baths - I mean the bathroom sink versus a sponge bath.

Week 3: The kids Guardian Ad Litem (their lawyer) called to see how things were going. This is how we found out that birth parents had court on Tuesday, the outcome being birth parents were given 2 supervised visits a week each (as they aren't together anymore) for a total of 4 visits a week. We were less than thrilled. The worst part is we learned this on Tuesday and immediately had their first visit on Wednesday, second and third on Thursday, and fourth on Friday. It's a lot of work to get the kids ready to go because we have to provide the formula, the bottles, the diapers, the wipes, etc. Our agency also told us to not send anything we cared about in case we didn't get it back, luckily that's not been an issue! We were also informed that the court has allowed the parents to attend medical visits. Super bummed! We didn't have any interest in meeting the birth parents and never realized it was possible that we wouldn't have a choice. We both met birth dad this week, he was nice to both of us and thanked us for taking good care of his kids. This was frustrating for me because I wanted to dislike him but on the surface he nice enough.

Week 4: The twins are becoming more active now and are up for a couple of hours at a time, day and night. Baby girl really enjoys tummy time while baby boy just enjoys looking around and playing with brightly colored rattles. I love holding them when they are awake because they seem to just look very deeply into your eyes - it's an unexplainable feeling, Jon says its like they are looking into our souls. This week we had our 1 month appointment and it was the first time Jon and I met birth mom. To me she seemed like a know-it-all but overall she was alright. The doctor told us what a great job we were doing with caring for the twins and that he doesn't have any concerns as they are growing as he would expect/hope.

The past month has been extremely busy but I can't imagine my life any other way. Sure, the nights are rough when a baby is crying and I realize I was just up an hour ago with the other one but when they open their eyes and interact with you, it makes all those long nights disappear. However, I don't think it makes all the diapers disappear, both Jon and I could do without those especially since we've both been peed on multiple times and Jon's even been pooped on!

I'm hoping to keep the blog updated more frequently now that we are on a "schedule". Feel free to ask questions and we'll answer as best we can but the majority of their situation is confidential. The twins are foster children and although we would love to adopt, right now the case plan is reunification with the birth parents.

We finally filled the shoes!

OFFICIALLY Certified Foster Parents

We PASSED! The state has looked into our home life, our dog, our finances, our upbringing, our marriage, our criminal history and found nothing too concerning. So it's official! We are finally licensed foster/adoption parents!!! The news came last Thursday, August 29th. 

On Friday morning I called our licensing agent and discussed preferences and placement lists. We decided to accept children ages 0-3 as long as one is under the age of 1. After numerous other questions, we also decided to be placed on the immediate placement list so literally a call could come at any time. That's exactly what our agency said to us and she wasn't lying.

Friday around 3pm, I received our first placement call. I knew it was a placement call before I answered the phone, I'm not sure why but I just knew. I'm glad I did because CPS does not do anything to help you determine if this is the child for your family or not. This is how the phone call went: 

     CPS: "Hi my name is ____ from Child Protective Services. I have a 1 year old boy that I was wondering if you could take."
     Tina: ............. (attempting to remember our classes and what they told us to ask)........"Ummm do you know why they are being removed from the home?"
     CPS: "Yes, ___________ on his younger, 5 month old brother; his 4 year old brother has already been placed"
     Tina: (Quickly doing the math on a 1 year old and a 5 month old....doesn't really add up) "Is he exactly 1 year old or is he younger or older? What ethnicity is he? Where is the 5 month old?" (I caught on quickly, CPS knows a lot but they try to tell you nothing)
     CPS: "He's a little over a year, he was born on March 8th"
     Tina: (Confused because I'm pretty sure that means he's almost 18 months which is very different than a 1 year old) "We are going to have to decline, he isn't within our preferences."
     CPS: "Okay, thank you for your time."

We had heard CPS was typically pushy and didn't like when you declined but this guy wasn't upset at all, he was very polite which is what I would hope. The excitement of Friday didn't end there. At 9pm that evening Jon received our 2nd placement call. It went very similar to the first except this CPS agent didn't have hardly any information. We also realized at this point that our preferences must not be in the system because we again turned the children down due to not meeting our preferences. Jon asked the CPS agent if our preferences were in there and she said no so she updated them. Since that call, we haven't heard anything. The excitement of the calls and being licensed have really made the next 2 days difficult because now we feel mentally ready but nothing has happened. Every time Jon's phone rings, we both get that little bolt of adrenaline/excitement. 

We will definitely update once we accept our first placement but until then I wanted to remind everyone of some rules we have to follow regarding confidentiality.

1. You won't see pictures on this blog, or on Facebook or Instagram, with any identifying details (i.e. no faces). Once we have adopted the children pictures are fair game!
2. This also means that you cannot take pictures of our children either. I know it'll be hard, but remember these are someone else's kid's until we adopt and we can't have pictures floating around due to confidentiality. Again, once the adoption is finalized, start snapping away!
3. Close family and friends will know the children and their names because they will be attending events with us, however please refrain from using their names in the online world due to confidentiality. 
4. Please do not ask us why the children came into our care. If it is necessary for you to know, you will know but otherwise just treat them like any other niece, nephew, grandchild, or kid.
5. We will be unable to post specifics about the case or court details. Major decisions can be posted in a general overview but all the details are kept confidential to protect the children. Details of their cases are their own to share, as they see fit (and when they can talk).

We look forward to sharing the next steps of our journey with everyone! Please keep us in your thoughts while we await our life changing phone call!

Medically Complex 3 of 3

This past Saturday we completed our last training class! 

We covered the ways to nurture and discipline a child with special needs. The majority of this was a repeat of PS MAPPS which was frustrating to sit through again.

The interesting part of this class was the talk about taking care of ourselves as foster parents. So far all the classes are concerned with the children and what's best for the child you are caring for so it was definitely different to talk about making sure we take care of ourselves and the grieving process we'll go through when a child reunites with a parent.

Here's our "Road to Good Self-Care"

• Give yourself permission to need something
• Keep it simple
• Don't compare yourself to others
• Plan the hardest part of your day ahead of time
• Join a parent support group
• Have down time every day
• Plan things to look forward to
• Accentuate the positive

As part of taking care of ourselves we discussed how to use respite care and what information we would need to provide them. 

And finally we discussed important milestones of children so we can hopefully be proactive about identifying a child that is behind and needs additional help.

After 15 more hours of training, we graduated!

License countdown: Somewhere between 8 to 23 days!

There probably won't be another update until we get fully licensed and then it'll be whenever the BIG day is. Keep us in your thoughts as our lives are about to drastically change!

Medically Complex 2 of 3

This week we discussed diagnosis, diseases & conditions. We discussed everything from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), to Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) to Substance Exposed Neonatal (SEN) and lots of others in between.

FAS causes mental and physical defects and is typically a chronic disease. The most interesting thing I learned about this is a physical defect of a child with FAS is a smooth philtrum. After learning this, it's hard not to look at adults for this symptom.

An infant with SEN is typically something the child can overcome and grow out of and doesn't leave physical defects. These children can have withdrawal symptoms beginning at 72 hours and can continue for up to 6 months. They are typically easily irritable and sensitive to light, sound, and smells. We learned different ways to help calm and sooth these infants such as speaking quietly and turning down lights.

These instructors are definitely interested in keeping us involved. This week we had a "Myth or Fact" worksheet to keep us awake. Here are a couple of the questions:

• You can catch poison ivy from someone who has it. 
• Myth or Fact
• It's easier for a couple to conceive if the man wears boxer shorts instead of briefs
• Myth or Fact
• Eating turkey causes drowsiness
• Myth or Fact
• Before modern pregnancy tests, if a rabbit injected with a woman's urine died, the woman was pregnant.
• Myth or Fact
• Your heart stops beating every time you sneeze.
• Myth or Fact
• Homemade chicken soup is good for a cold.
• Myth or Fact

Answers to come!

One more class and then we are set. I think one of the only things we have left to do is practice installing the car seat into our vehicles so we aren't frantically trying to figure it out on our way to pick up a child.

35 days or less until we are licensed!

Medically Complex 1 of 3

Yesterday we attended our first of three Medically Complex classes. We covered how quickly we should have an EPST ( Early and Periodic Screening, Diagnostic and treatment) Exam after accepting a placement along with proper medication administration and the different medical resources available to us as foster parents.

Some of it covered the same topics as Medication Administration but a review can't hurt when it comes to medical assistance. Our teachers for this course are much better than the original PS MAPPS course. They are much better at keeping us involved. Such as training us on properly removing gloves. We had to wear gloves, have chocolate syrup poured on them, smear it around, then properly remove them without getting any chocolate syrup on ourselves or the desks! Another way they kept us involved was with proper medication administration. Each group received 3 "prescription" bottles and had to identify the thing that was wrong with the prescription. Sometimes there was a peanut allergy listed on the label and then there were peanut M&Ms as "pills" in the bottle or the expiration date had passed, etc.

We also got out of this class earlier than any of our other classes so all and in all it wasn't too bad. Keep posted for next week's update!

42 days or less until we are licensed!

The Countdown Begins

Just wanted to give a quick update, we had some set backs with our license application. Nothing major, just getting forms updated by doctors which can take awhile because doctors are so busy.

However, we are finally done with the paperwork and our license application has officially been submitted as of July 31st!

In 45-60 30-45 days we will officially be licensed foster/adoption parents!

Technically 59 44 days today...

Home Study (aka 4 hour interview with our agency)

The final item before our paperwork is submitted to the licensing board is a 4 hour interview with our licensing specialist. After 5 hours of First Aid/CPR classes, 3 hours of state online portal forms, 15+ hours of paperwork, and over 30 hours of PS MAPPS courses, I didn't understand what else could be left to ask us. We've already talked about losses in our lives, how we were raised, how we met, detailed out our finances, and talked about how we plan to raise children, what else could be left? I had a slight gut feeling that numerous things were going to be repeated from earlier paperwork.

Unfortounately I was right. Luckily our licensing specialist is nice and down to earth so it wasn't awful and she was able to take the 4 hours down to 3 hours and 15 minutes. Here's a quick rundown of the questions we were asked:

Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
Have you ever filed for bankruptcy?
Do you think you can financially support a child?
Describe your parents.
How often do you talk to your parents?
How were you disciplined growing up?
Do you plan to parent the same as your parents did? Why or why not?
Describe each sibling's personality.
How was your relationship with each sibling growing up?
How is your relationship with each sibling now?
What is your biggest accomplishment/happiest moment in life?
How did you two meet?
How do you think you make a good wife/husband?
How do you think your wife/husband shows you love and affection?
Have you ever smoked cigarates or done drugs?
Do you drink? How often?
What is the biggest loss that's occured in your life?
Do you have a support system?
What discpline methods do you plan to use?
How many times will you try something with a child before you give up?

After all the questions, she did a quick walk through of our house. Then she had us sign paperwork stating she didn't see any concerns with us and that our paperwork is getting submitted for licensure. I'd say we passed with flying colors!

It'll probably be submitted within the next week and then it'll take 30-45 days to be fully licensed!

So now we just wait...until August. We have 3 more classes called Medically Fragile that are an agency specific requirement since we are taking in children under the age of 2. We'll keep you updated!